Tag Archive | "conservatives"

Ann Coulter Jokes – Humor About The Mean Queen


Why does Ann Coulter call security whenever liberals area around her house?
Because her flying monkeys are busy doing other chores for her.

How many liberals can Ann Coulter devour at one sitting?
Only two- she’s cutting down to keep her girlish figure. Read the full story

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Posted in Celebrity GossipComments (0)

Debating Progressives


Question: With the CRU files leak, do you still believe the climate science is not settled?

Response: You (expletive deleted) son of a (expletive deleted). Did you learn that from Glenn Beck? That (expletive deleted). Anybody who can’t see the science is settled is a flat earther. Are you stupid? No, I don’t have any facts to back up my argument. However, I do have a copy of the IPCC report that I use as a door stop and I watched Al Gore win the Oscar. Read the full story

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Conservatives Shift From ‘Compassionate’ to ‘Cold-blooded’ Conservatism


The Republicans, still smarting from their losses in the 2008 elections, have taken a new stance. Gone are the Bush I and II philosophies of ‘Compassionate Conservatism’. The new motto is ‘Cold-Blooded Conservatism’. This new attitude will focus on further crushing the working and middle class with less rights and diminished wages, which they’ve been doing anyway, just now they won’t smile and pretend they aren’t anymore. Read the full story

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Posted in PoliticsComments (15)

25yr Coma Man Wakes, Stunned to Learn of Black President


Ozark, Alabama – Jeff Stills was a successful crop farmer from the lower state of Alabama that was raised on a farm he would soon call his own.  Unfortunately on the night of April 6th 1984 he flipped his General Lee replica(per his initial description). After further questioning he revealed it was in fact a ’78 Gremlin given to him by his aunt with a crudely painted “homage” to the General Lee at best.  He then entered a coma deeper than any Dukes of Hazard plot. Read the full story

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Posted in Politics, Strange PeopleComments (0)

Nevada’s Chicken Ranch Putting Roosters in the Hen House


Due to new testing methods recently developed to test men’s peckers for STD’s, male prostitutes are slated to join in the chicken dance at brothels across rural Nevada.

The owner of the first ranch to offer men up to clients said he “feared the idea of male prostitutes serving male clients could spur a legislative backlash” but he is working hard (no pun intended) “to make the brothel industry socially acceptable to both libertarians and conservatives.” (Yes, he really said that).

Did he just diss the progressives or is it just a case of being a good citizen and allowing the conservatives and libertarians to come out of the bathrooms and into socially-acceptable brothels?

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Posted in News In Your BriefsComments (2)

Glenn Beck’s New Book: “Mama, I Spilled My Cocoa Puffs”


Yet another poignant reminder that Glenn Beck was born and lived to tell about it.

In “Mama, I Spilled My Cocoa Puffs,” Beck takes his readers back to a time when all there was for breakfast was cold cereal and a glass of tap water, but it was enough to sustain him until he got lunch in the school lunch line and then dinner back home at night. “It’s a story of courage,” says Beck. “When times seemed the darkest and I got smacked upside the head for spilling a bit of my cereal on the kitchen floor, it taught me how to mop…mop up my milk, mop up the table in front of me, mop up my tears and get on the school bus.” Read the full story

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (16)

Yes, Virginia, There is Global Warming


“DEAR EDITOR: I am 48 years old.
“Some of my conservative friends say there is no Global Warming.
“The UN says, ‘If you see it in a peer reviewed journal it’s so.’
“Please tell me the truth; is there Global Warming?

“VIRGINIA O’HANLON.
“115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET.”

VIRGINIA, your conservative friends are wrong.  They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. Read the full story

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Posted in EnvironmentComments (0)

Glenn Beck’s Daughter Sells Daddy’s Drool on E-Bay


Learning that his middle daughter was jonesing to go to Columbia University, Glenn Beck refused to pay for her tuition, stating “if you want to attend some hippie, liberal, communist center of lower learning in the middle of freaking Harlem, you won’t be doing it on my dime, sweetheart.” Read the full story

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Posted in TelevisionComments (12)

Conservative Doll Series Out in Time for Christmas


Whiskey Creek, VA – Small independently-owned doll manufacturer, Patriate Pride, has announced a new line of dolls fashioned after the ideals of two of today’s most controversial conservative figures, Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin. In fact, the “Michele” doll and the “Sarah” doll will be the cornerstones of the new series, “Pretty Pride.” Read the full story

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Posted in Kidz ZoneComments (0)

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