Search Results for: trump
BREAKING: Trump Social Media Blackout Reaches 100% As OnlyFans Issues The President LIFETIME BAN
Internet sex work giant, subscription service, and simp-haven OnlyFans has permanently banned President Trump from utilizing its website. In a statement released on January 9th, the company wrote, “In light of the recent railing of our precious democracy by rioters,…
Trump Uses Taxpayer’s Money to Pay for His Latest Portrait
It was revealed today that the outgoing self-proclaimed greatest ever American president, Donald Trump, has spent $2bn of US taxpayers’ money on a portrait of himself. The portrait was commissioned yesterday evening and was completed within fifteen minutes by New…
Ivanka Trump Opens New Pop-Up Celebrity Covid Vaccination Clinic
News that the ex-president’s wife / daughter, Ivanka, has jumped on the Covid bandwagon to make a fast buck from it came as no surprise to the hastily assembled press pack summoned to The White House this morning. Instead of…
Satan Buys Pardon from Trump for $8bn
In a ‘not very surprising’ move it was revealed today that outgoing president and all-round shithouse Donald Trump has agreed to issue the devil with a presidential pardon. The full and complete pardon will be rushed through ahead of Trump’s…
Trump to Take Starring Role in New Marvel Movie ‘The Incredible Sulk’
Those that lie awake at night worrying about what will happen to Donald Trump when he is dragged kicking and screaming from The White House in January can at last get some shut eye. A spokesperson for Walt Disney Studios,…
Biden Offers Trump Cabinet Post as Beppo The Clown
In a bid to unite a divided America President Elect Joe Biden has stretched out the hand of reconciliation to the Republicans and Trump’s loyal supporter base by offering the outgoing president a place in his new administration. However, the…
Trump To Spend Christmas in Jail as Santa
Swiftly on the back of the President finally growing up and accepting that the majority of Americans prefer a decent human being to him, Donald Trump has announced his Christmas plans. He is to spend the holiday in a cell…
Trump Shows Off New ‘Hand Enlargement’ Surgery To Red Neck Protesters
President Trump has been keeping a low profile since the results of the 2020 election were announced. His low profile has nothing to do with the fact that he got a drubbing from Biden, and America wants to turf his…
Biden to ‘Ride Trump Lion’ to Inauguration
In a surprisingly politically insensitive move, President Elect Joe Biden has announced that he is to go to his inauguration ceremony next January riding a lion that has been fitted with a prosthetic latex mask of ex-US president (we all…
GOTCHA! – Fox’s Unbroadcasted ‘Biden vs. Trump’ Secret Debate was Fake News!
In an outstanding piece of investigative journalism carried out by UK gardening magazine Thyme’s roving reporter Ms Tildy Truth, it has been discovered that Fox News’ claim of a secret ‘final’ debate between the two presidential hopefuls was a lie….