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Libyan Nut-Job Enthralls UN Assembly w/ Rambling Yarn

Libyan Nut-Job Enthralls UN Assembly w/ Rambling Yarn

It was meant to be a day of global reconciliation, when the new Kenyan Messiah of the Free World (sic) would miraculously wipe clean the slate of the past eight years of Neo-Colonial Imperialist US hatred and herald an era of unity and brotherly love under the New World Order’s military-industrial Zionist jackboot. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Top Stories0 Comments

Palin to Cook eBay Auction $63.5K Fundraiser Dinner

Palin to Cook eBay Auction $63.5K Fundraiser Dinner

WASILLA, ALASKA — A woman defense contractor in Huntsville, Ala., won the “Dangerous” Dining with Sarah Palin eBay auction — her bid was $63,500.

Auction details only allow the winning bidder to bring three friends to the dinner. Palin’s spokeswoman said “the former Governor and former First Dude Todd are thrilled that, above all, our wounded warriors are being recognized and honored, and will receive all of the leftover stew. It is a small token of appreciation for their sacrifices on behalf of our great nation.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Strange People1 Comment

CIA Playing Hardball with Obama

CIA Playing Hardball with Obama

In an exclusive interview with the Washington Times, a senior CIA official said the Agency was in payback mode with the White House.

Insisting he be referred to only as “Leon P” to protect his identity, the official revealed that CIA officers were furious when the President unleashed the Justice Department on the Agency over torture allegations. Continue Reading

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Obama May Target World Unemployment

Obama May Target World Unemployment

National Enquirer – Part 3 of John’s Smith’s report of his time on Martha’s Vineyard posing as a landscaper at President Obama’s compound. Before he was discovered and removed by Secret Service agents, Smith managed to tape several strategy meetings Obama conducted with advisors. In the following transcript, the President leads a brainstorming session on correcting the nation’s dismal employment situation: Continue Reading

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Obama Schools Speech Fiasco Amuses Kids

Obama Schools Speech Fiasco Amuses Kids

President Barack Obama has delivered a junior State of the Nation speech to American schoolchildren, broadcast live to classrooms across the entire good ole US of A – from kindergarten age to upper high school grades. Continue Reading

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Politics0 Comments

Duct Tape to Preserve Political Careers

Duct Tape to Preserve Political Careers

Washington, D.C. – It was announced today by a Republican Party spokesperson that commencing immediately, rolls of duct tape will be made available, at the entrance to the House and Senate chambers, to those Republican lawmakers who cannot seem to control themselves. “While healthy debate is encouraged in most instances, we find it necessary to impose a form of restraint at this point in the juncture on those lawmakers who are so passionate as to dishonor Congress,” said Lucy Lipsingships, Secretary of the House Decorum Committee. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics12 Comments

Congress Places Bill of Rights Up for Auction on eBay

Congress Places Bill of Rights Up for Auction on eBay

Washington, DC (BSNE): Amid much fanfare, Congressional leaders from both parties announced a new series of aggressive raise revenues to off set the skyrocketing Federal Budget Deficit. At the top of the Initiative is to offer the Bill of Rights for sale to interested parties on eBay. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Politics3 Comments

Failures Force Obama to Look for Scapegoats

Failures Force Obama to Look for Scapegoats

National Enquirer – Part II of John Smith’s report of his time on Martha’s Vineyard posing as a landscaper at the Obama Compound. From his hiding place in the bushes outside a screened-in porch where strategy meetings were held, Smith taped the following conversation between Obama and top advisors. This session had to do with Obama’s plummeting poll numbers. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Top Stories0 Comments

President Obama Assaulted With Caramels

President Obama Assaulted With Caramels

Taking his cue from a popular American television show, President Karzai of Afghanistan lobs candy at President Obama, believing it to be an act of endearment. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics1 Comment

Obama Proposes Pet Health Care Plan to Woo Seniors

Obama Proposes Pet Health Care Plan to Woo Seniors

Stung by reports that the elderly are turning against his health care reform proposal, President Barack Obama is prepared to offer seniors a series of incentives to get them back on board. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Politics0 Comments

Kennedy to Achieve Health Care Reform from Grave

Kennedy to Achieve Health Care Reform from Grave

Washington — Washington Post Associate Editor Bob Woodward reports that the Obama Administration plans to use the death of Senator Ted Kennedy to fast-track its health care reform measure now languishing in Congress. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Politics, Top Stories0 Comments

Obama: Stop Bothering Me

Obama: Stop Bothering Me

Washington — A source close to President Barack Obama tells Washington Post Associate Editor Bob Woodward that the President has begun to chafe at his inability to get away from the job, even at his vacation retreat on Martha’s Vineyard. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Politics, Top Stories1 Comment

Woodward: Biden, Panetta Losing Obama’s Confidence

Woodward: Biden, Panetta Losing Obama’s Confidence

ABC News – Washington Post Associate Editor Bob Woodward reported today that President Obama may replace Vice President Joe Biden and CIA Director Leon Panetta before the end of his first term. Continue Reading

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Obamas Worry Martha’s Vineyard Visit “Looks Elitist”

Obamas Worry Martha’s Vineyard Visit “Looks Elitist”

National Enquirer — An intrepid National Enquirer reporter has managed the near-impossible: gain access to the Obama compound on Martha’s Vineyard posing as a landscaper. During his time at the estate, John Smith discovered a hiding place in the bushes outside a screened-in porch where top advisors gathered to discuss political strategy. Following is a partial transcript of one of the sessions Smith taped: Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Politics0 Comments

Obama Hosts Thursdays Under The Magnolia Tree

Obama Hosts Thursdays Under The Magnolia Tree

Washington, DC – President Obama announced that the small meeting held last Thursday between himself, Joe Biden, Professor Gates and Officer Crowley to share a beer and clear up any misunderstandings that may have arisen due to the incident involving Gates’ arrest by Crowley was highly successful. Continue Reading

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CIA Tape Shocker: Pelosi in Bed with Reid, Murtha

CIA Tape Shocker: Pelosi in Bed with Reid, Murtha

Washington — In an escalation of the conflict between the Central Intelligence Agency and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, a CIA source has provided the New York Times a tape of what he maintains is a July 2007 meeting attended by Pelosi, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, and Rep. John Murtha. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Top Stories, War Zone0 Comments

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