Random Thoughts (V): Not All Pacifists are Created Equal

Pacifism and Perfectionism

It is necessary to distinguish between a conscientious objection where one refuses to serve in the Armed forces; versus a kind of intrusive, interventionist and deeply sanctimonious hyper-pacifism which would snatch the gun from the hand of another.  Read more Random Thoughts (V): Not All Pacifists are Created Equal

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Hillary Clinton Defends Crimes Against Humanity & Genocide

Hillary Clinton has provided some typically sophistical responses to old One Tongue Johnny’s recent arguments against ‘the Globalist-Humanitarian jargon of “Crimes Against Humanity” and “Genocide.”‘

Let’s hope we can keep her on topic; I know she has a habit to digress a little, and get into self-indulgent rants about her hobbyhorses. Read more Hillary Clinton Defends Crimes Against Humanity & Genocide

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The Creature of American Democracy Battered & Hunted under President Trump

Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.—American democracy has been badly injured and is in hiding as a result of Donald Trump’s being elected president of the United States.

There have since been scattered sightings of Democracy across the country. At midnight in Pasadena, an elderly woman reported seeing a battered, hunched figure with a mangled face, crawling in the alley behind her small house. The creature claimed to be none other than Democracy itself, the very creature that had formerly appeared angelic to the nation.
Read more The Creature of American Democracy Battered & Hunted under President Trump

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Labour MP Naz Shah Tells Yazidi ISIS Victims to ‘Shut Up’

After recently retweeting a comment saying Rotherham rape victims should shut up for the good of diversity, prominent George Galloway critic and moderate socialist intellectual Naz Shah has ended up in even bigger trouble.

A satirical Twitter account, parodying prominent conservative journalist and rowdy anti-imperialist pseudo-Marxist polemicist Peter Hitchens recently said: Read more Labour MP Naz Shah Tells Yazidi ISIS Victims to ‘Shut Up’

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President Trump Murders Alt Right Conservatives, their Ghosts still Support him

Dateline: TRUMPLAND—After President Trump ordered that all of his alt right supporters be systematically murdered, their ghosts said that they still support the president.

Mr. Trump tweeted that he was grateful for their continuing support.
Read more President Trump Murders Alt Right Conservatives, their Ghosts still Support him

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Consumer Protection Law Humbles American Politicians & Mass Media

Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.—After Congress passed a law mandating that large American organizations report the average of their polled approval rating in their public statements, the White House, Congress, and the mainstream media stumbled in attempting to conduct their business. Read more Consumer Protection Law Humbles American Politicians & Mass Media

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Liberals Accused of Insensitivity for Mocking Mentally-Disordered President Trump

Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.—Martha Mollycoddle, the mother of a man diagnosed as a psychopath and currently undergoing treatment in a hospital for the criminally insane, has begun a campaign to shame liberals and Democrats for mocking President Trump as a result of his similar mental disorder. Read more Liberals Accused of Insensitivity for Mocking Mentally-Disordered President Trump

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God Praised for Outfitting Donald Trump with Self-Destruct Button

Dateline: LOS ANGELES—Thousands of Americans, who resist Donald Trump’s presidency on the grounds that he is literally a psychopath, have formed a religious group calling for praise of God for supplying the psychopath Donald Trump with a self-destruct button.

The group is called Small Mercies and was founded in Los Angeles, by Joey Garbanzo. Members of the group call themselves The Thankful, thus fulfilling the phrase, being “thankful for small mercies.”
Read more God Praised for Outfitting Donald Trump with Self-Destruct Button

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Second-Grade Satirist Furious: 10 Whole Websites Steal His ‘Scaramucci Joke’

A certain low-grade satirist is upset that no fewer than ten edgy satire outlets have stolen his Scaramucci joke.

Bigoted, disrespectful moron One Tongue Johnny wantonly abused his freedom of speech privileges by screaming: Read more Second-Grade Satirist Furious: 10 Whole Websites Steal His ‘Scaramucci Joke’

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Mensa Makes Special Genius Category For Trump.

Mensa, the international high intelligence group that only accepts people who pass a difficult IQ test, have in the age of Trump found a troubling enigma that has causes them to review their intelligence statuses.

The present President-select has provided them with an problem in categorizing him that they had to labor to overcome. What rating do you give a man with such astounding mental process as our current Commandant-In-Chief? Read more Mensa Makes Special Genius Category For Trump.

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News Media Confuse Viewers by Speaking as if all Oligarchs are Russian

Dateline: TENNESSEE—American corporate news media baffle viewers by presupposing that all oligarchs are Russian citizens.

“You never hear CNN speak of American oligarchs,” said news media watcher Alonzo Plompus. “For some unknown reason, whenever you hear about oligarchs on cable news, they’re always Russian.”
Read more News Media Confuse Viewers by Speaking as if all Oligarchs are Russian

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Steve King: Build Border Wall with Food Stamp Recipients, Planned Parenthood Doctors

Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) is calling for using food stamp recipients and Planned Parenthood workers to help build President Trump’s southern border wall, the Washington Examiner reported Wednesday.

Food stamp recipients would become part of the foundation of the wall, while Planned Parenthood workers, including doctors who provide abortions, would be part of the labor force enslaved to build the wall. Read more Steve King: Build Border Wall with Food Stamp Recipients, Planned Parenthood Doctors

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We Are A Fly On The Wall At The Republican Formation Of The New Health Plan.

We are a fly on the wall at the Republican formation of the new health plan. 

“What are we going to do?” whispered Mitch McConnell secretly to Mike Pence. “If we don’t get this new AbominableCare bill through our handlers will come down on us heavy!”

“First off, I think we should change the name. It sounds too much like ObamaCare. Secondly, what do you mean by handlers?” Read more We Are A Fly On The Wall At The Republican Formation Of The New Health Plan.

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