Category: Top Stories
GOP Agrees to Raise Debt Ceiling (if 19th Amendment Repealed)
House Majority leader Eric Cantor and Republican House Speaker John Boehner agreed to a short-term budget and debt ceiling increase of 7-9 days, so long as women’s right to vote is repealed. Democrats considering the measure. The government shutdown is…
Glossy Staff Admits Butt-Hurt After Reaming by NRA Riled Redneck Brigade
The staff of Glossy news is busy licking their wounds today after a fierce word-lashing by a number of drive-by commentator fan(atic)s of the NRA. While a few commenters stand out in the article, the sum of their words was…
Republicans Smoking Too Much Weed Again
Once again Republicans have been having drug deliriums from smoking too much weed. With regards to the stalemate on the shutting down the government (by the way, the WRONG parts of the government have gotten shut down- why are these…
Romney Legacy: Vowed to Build an America That People Can Be Leaving
CONCORD, NH – Following a series of primary victories Tuesday, presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney has vowed to build an America that voters from across the entire nation can truly be leaving. Winning a significant number of delegates in…
British Prime Minister Apparently Not Tony Blair Anymore, Nation Finds
WASHINGTON D.C. – During a joint televised address designed to highlight the special relationship between the United States and Great Britain Wednesday, it was revealed to the American public that the Prime Minister of The United Kingdom is not, in…
Walmart Discontinues Slim, Regular Cuts in Favor of Husky Sizes
Walmart, the undisputed reigning purveyor of plus-sized clothes in America at any price, has announced this week that they will discontinue sales of “slim” and “regular” cuts in favor of an all-husky line of clothing. “It just makes sense,” says…
GOP Right, We Do Need to Slash Military, Raise Taxes
As the Republican shutdown enters its 11th day, the GOP has failed to waiver from their insincere talking points about fiscal responsibility. But they’re right. We have to cut the deficit and reduce the debt, and the best way to…
An Open Letter to Al Queda and its Branch Affiliates
Good day, guys. How is it going? Blow up anything fun today? Shoot your quota of infidels yet? OK, sorry you’re having a bad day. Just a few questions I wanted to ask you guys. (I am assuming you are…
Make No Mistake, This is a Republican Shutdown
Make No Mistake, This is a Republican Shutdown FOX News and conservative radio like to make out the issue as “both sides are to blame,” or more commonly just casting blame solely on the Democrats, but that’s just not true….
Harvard Law Launches “Stupidity is No Barrier” Policy
CAMBRIDGE – A new policy ratified by Harvard Law School will ensure that admissions officers do not discriminate against candidates on account of their stupidity. The fresh statute includes a clause which says “No heterosexual, homosexual, transsexual, genderfluid or transfag…