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Glossy News Classics VI. rfreed’s President Obama Stars in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’ (1/3)

Glossy News Classics VI. rfreed’s President Obama Stars in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’ (1/3)

NOTE FROM WALLACE:

Keep reading rfreed’s work! 

Now, this one is interesting…

***

President Obama gazed down from the icy bridge into the swirling frigid waters of the Potomac below him.

In the darkness of the night the distance between him and its whirlpools seemed vast.

He was at an end.

The difficulties of his Presidency seemed as dark, endless and foreboding as the waters he looked down upon. Continue Reading

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The Machiavellian Guide To Becoming President

The Machiavellian Guide To Becoming President

The Machiavellian Guide To Becoming President
(as channeled from the nether worlds to his humble servants Donald Trump and rfreed)

Note to the historically impaired – Niccolò Machiavelli was a 15th century historian, writer and politician who emphasized using the Dark Side of the Force when ruling. Rumor has it that President Select Donald Trump keeps a copy of his book ‘The Prince’ at his beside to ponder over when he is finished with his Tweets for the night. Continue Reading

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Dynasty’s End? The ‘Annus Horribilis’ of Hill & Bill Clinton

Dynasty’s End? The ‘Annus Horribilis’ of Hill & Bill Clinton

One of  the many unfortunate outcomes of 2016 is the denial of influence rendered to one Bill Clinton.

Riding #IMWITHHER were many odd bedfellows.

The Clinton Foundation, and her sister Clinton Global Initiative, had raised untold millions, right up until Election Day, from the Gulf States and military contractors like Lockheed Martin Marrieta.

With the election upset, lawsuits are coming from some strange places. Continue Reading

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Hot Out of the Oven – New Donald Trump Memes

Donald Trump Memes Continue Reading

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Hillary Wears Pantsuit to Beaver Shot Showdown

Hillary Wears Pantsuit to Beaver Shot Showdown

Hillary was once again embarrassed by a Trump. But this time it was Melania. The gamey Mrs. Clinton accepted the challenge but was woefully unprepared to compete with the lovely Mrs. Trump who was dressed in a beautiful ensemble of a low cut, blue cashmere sweater over a knee length pleated white skirt.

Melania had been seated first in one of two metal folding chairs placed close to the edge of the stage with the jumbotron focused close up on her shapely legs. The crowd was clearly anticipating some warm up exercises but were quickly disappointed when Melania, keeping her knees tightly closed, affected a perfectly done look of feigned modesty by pressing her fingers against her lips and cooing. Continue Reading

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Glossy News Accused of Balanced, Factually Accurate Reporting

Glossy News Accused of Balanced, Factually Accurate Reporting

The government and media have angrily accused Glossy News of publishing well researched, balanced and factually accurate articles.

‘This is a total disgrace,’ passionately screamed a representative of the National Union of Journalists. ‘Glossy News is respected for its spoof news stories. We expect fake news from its writers. Some of what it’s publishing now is, well, just plain wrong.’ Continue Reading

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Donald Trump’s Latest Conspiratorial Rant: ‘The Jews Control Israel’ (2/2)

Donald Trump’s Latest Conspiratorial Rant: ‘The Jews Control Israel’ (2/2)

Last time:

TRUMP: The Jews! Incredible. The Jews control Israel. Unbelievable. Believe me, this is yuuuge.

JAKE TAPPER: OK, I’m buying it. But what about some of our more sceptical viewers out there? What’s your message for them?

The story continues:

TRUMP: The Jews control Israel! But you’re not allowed to talk about it! Donald…

Trump…

Is the only

President… Continue Reading

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Donald Trump’s Latest Conspiratorial Rant: ‘The Jews Control Israel’ (1/2)

Donald Trump’s Latest Conspiratorial Rant: ‘The Jews Control Israel’ (1/2)

Rambunctious Orange Lives Matter Civil Activist and Pitiful Nazicon Stooge Donald Trump has recently delivered another hate-ridden tirade. After his edgy pre-election comments on ‘Latino rapists’ and ‘banning Muslims,’ Jake Tapper’s recent interview shows the Donald propagating a bizarre anti-Semitic conspiracy theory.

TAPPER: Mr Trump, do you actually believe the Jews control Israel? Continue Reading

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More Contentious Donald Trump Policies

More Contentious Donald Trump Policies

Here are the latest harebrained policy suggestions from Donald Trump.

Make America Ridiculous Again!

***

1. Criminalize hate speech against corporations. Corporations are people too, and they have feelings!

2. Shut down X Factor. Don’t you think we’ve had enough of this crap by now?!

3. Women who have vaginas should be punished. Continue Reading

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Mysterious Trot Infestation in Yorkshire

Mysterious Trot Infestation in Yorkshire

Raping in the Name of: Mysterious Trot Infestation in Yorkshire Leaves Potential Sex Offenders Shaking Their Dicks!!!

Not so long ago, I spoke about my not so intimate encounter with the Hyde Park Trots in Leeds, Yorkshire. Continue Reading

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Glossy News Book Showcase 6: Tim Jones’s “You’re Grounded For Life” – Misguided Parenting Strategies that Sounded Good at the Time

Glossy News Book Showcase 6: Tim Jones’s “You’re Grounded For Life” – Misguided Parenting Strategies that Sounded Good at the Time

YOU’RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE – Misguided Parenting Strategies that Sounded Good at the Time is available for purchase as a paperback book or as an ebook at fine retailers everywhere, as well as a few shady outlets I would never set foot in. Continue Reading

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Glossy News Book Showcase Returns Tomorrow

Glossy News Book Showcase Returns Tomorrow

Not long ago, we had our first Glossy News ebook showcase (although strictly speaking, printed books are OK too!)

Swan Morrison’s Judgment Day

Rfreed’s 9/12/01 (also serialized at Glossy News) Continue Reading

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The Shadow of Charlie

The Shadow of Charlie

After the Charlie Hebdo Massacre in January 2014, Glossy News published many Hebdo-related pieces; and even later on, as well! Some of the material was commentary; but we also had our usual funny ‘fake news’ stories, and various other humorous material. See the reading list following today’s anniversary editorial on Charlie Hebdo.

Quite a variety, as you will shortly see! Continue Reading

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CIA Digs up Dirt on President Trump, forms New Planet

CIA Digs up Dirt on President Trump, forms New Planet

Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.–In response to President-elect Donald Trump’s denigrating the American intelligence community, the CIA dug up a planet of dirt on Trump, altering the Earth’s gravitational field.

The American intelligence community was united in its assessment that Russia hacked into the Democratic National Committee’s emails to attempt to give Donald Trump an advantage in his campaign against Democratic rival Hillary Clinton. Continue Reading

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Glossy News Classics V. Wallace Runnymede’s Charlie Hebdo Essay (2/2)

Glossy News Classics V. Wallace Runnymede’s Charlie Hebdo Essay (2/2)

Last time:

Yet even so, concerning ‘limits’ to satire, I will affirm that I do reserve the inalienable right to treat religion as not pristine, as not above theoretical critique, or above satirizing, or above ‘blasphemy.’

And I have little to no respect for anyone who makes religion exceptional, in terms of the inalienable right and sovereign prerogative to criticize and satirize; an entitlement and a ‘privilege’ that can and must be shared be all like, without neither cavil nor complaint.

‘Shame on me,’ indeed!

Oh, and on that note, have you ever seen the passionately committed post-match comments of Andy Tate, the Manchester United supporter? If you have seen his devotion and commitment even once, is it possible to believe that religion is somehow more ‘precious’ or ‘sacred’ than any other love or ideal or commitment? Continue Reading

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Glossy News Classics V. Wallace Runnymede’s Charlie Hebdo Essay (1/2)

Glossy News Classics V. Wallace Runnymede’s Charlie Hebdo Essay (1/2)

NOTE FROM WALLACE:

Charlie Hebdo occurred for me when I had not  been long in the business of satire writing.

I grew defiant; the greater the fear, the greater the perversity and stubbornness.

This essay is a lot longer than our usual fake news humor or opinion pieces; it’s pretty much a long-form piece.

However, I hope you still take the time to read it, as it may be of interest to some of you.

The essay also appears in the first volume of my free ebook series of satire compilations, Wallace Runnymede Satire Catastrophes.

***

Dedicated to the unforgettable and shining martyrs of Charlie Hebdo and Hyper Cacher. Continue Reading

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