Archive | War Zone

Blair: My Critics on Iraq Should Check Their Privilege (2/2)

Blair: My Critics on Iraq Should Check Their Privilege (2/2)

The problem isn’t so much about not listening to voters.

No, the problem is when the views of mere fallible, imperfect, and often downright ignorant and uneducated voters of mere mortal flesh and blood are…

I mean, the problem is when the mundanely average common man’s prejudices are somehow, you know, treated as some kind of abstract, default, standard, disreputably vanillaesque norm…

Yes, the problem is the tyranny of all these merely opportunistic and ignorant assumptions which are, as it were, you see, for some mysteriously undisclosed reason or another, to be somehow considered as ‘common sense.’

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Blair: My Critics on Iraq Should Check Their Privilege (1/2)

Blair: My Critics on Iraq Should Check Their Privilege (1/2)

Dynamic and charismatic political figure Tony Blair has recently made another helpful intervention, in order to clear up any confused ideas any mere ‘ordinary people’ may be stubbornly clinging to.

Yes, the former Middle East peace envoy and architect of innumerable sweepingly successful and highly lauded humanitarian interventions…

Has recently been so kind as to educate his foolish and benighted critics on where they are going wrong.

Assuming an uncustomarily longwinded and pedagogical stance, Blair twitched: Continue Reading

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Assad Needs To be Taken Out Now

Assad Needs To be Taken Out Now

There are Syrian refugees risking their lives fleeing to the shores of Greece and overrunning every country between their homeland and Germany.

Many of those staying behind are being brutally murdered and maimed in their own homes and streets.

The finances and resources of the countries taking in the refugees are being badly strained. Great unrest is being fomented in all the lands surrounding Syria.

This is basically all because of one man- Bashar al-Assad, the President of Syria. Continue Reading

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Posted in Serious Commentary, War Zone0 Comments

Doctors Without Borders Invests in Body Armor, Bunkers

Doctors Without Borders Invests in Body Armor, Bunkers

The medical charity Doctors Without Borders is stocking up on body armor, underground bunkers, and armored vehicles. It’s unusual for the group of volunteer doctors to take such measures, but recent attacks by the United States have made it necessary.

“No one wants people to survive in a war zone,” said the organization’s General Director, Christopher Stokes. “We have powerful enemies, enemies who are eager to murder us and anyone in our vicinity, civilians, doctors, anyone.”

A spokesman for the United States military confirmed this. “Our job is to kill people. These doctors are getting in the way when they save lives.” Continue Reading

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Putin Puts In His Pugnacious Presence to Punitively Preempt and Perhaps Plunder the Syrian Proceedings Plight

Putin Puts In His Pugnacious Presence to Punitively Preempt and Perhaps Plunder the Syrian Proceedings Plight

Obama and other world leaders were sitting around the UN private lounge contemplating what to do about the Syrian crisis that was disturbing all of the Mideast and Europe. Depression had set in due to the difficulties that had arisen over the situation that seemed to escalate no matter what their efforts were. And it all was basically because of one man- Bashar al-Assad, the dictator of Syria.

The X-Box like control mechanism that determined the bombings of the day lay on a table between them. No one had the enthusiasm to touch it.

Suddenly the door burst open and an energetic presence entered.

“Greetings Comrades. I am here to solve the Syrian problem!” The unusually smiley face of Vladimir Putin greeted all the seated dignitaries as he hurriedly went around the circle of sofas shaking hands. “I am the answer to all your difficulties!” Continue Reading

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LBJ’s Human Rights Lecture to Glossy News Readers

LBJ’s Human Rights Lecture to Glossy News Readers

Hey, everybody! It’s yer best buddy Jumbo Johnson here! Everybody loves a bit of good old NON-GOVERNMENTAL Human Rights Organization shit, huh?

That’s right, bitches! Time for one damn fine bit of unpatriotic pinko analysis of the notable patriotic human rights NGO, Freedom House!

Ooo, SHIT! I LIIIIKE the sounda THAT!

Well hey, baby! Everybody loves freedom, right?! Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, War Zone0 Comments

Gingrich Clarifies/Muddies ‘ISIS Contract’ Situation (1/2)

Gingrich Clarifies/Muddies ‘ISIS Contract’ Situation (1/2)

Bill Clinton has stuck his stiff neck above the parapet and wantonly defamed Newt Gingrich for his ISIS apologism.

Don’t vote for this cynical, Mafiaesque “contract-killing” bastard, if he ever runs for office.

Yeah, vote for someone really good, like… Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

GOP/Dems War Duet: You Gotta Save Somebody 

GOP/Dems War Duet: You Gotta Save Somebody 

Someone has decided to rewrite Bob Dylan’s Gotta Serve Somebody, to fit the current climate in 2015.

The song has not been well received in Washington. Continue Reading

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Beltway Guerrilla (Hawkwind Parody)

Beltway Guerrilla (Hawkwind Parody)

Wallace Runnymede has written a parody of Hawkwind’s classic ‘Urban Guerrilla.’

But so far, he is still breathing.

Wonder why? 😉

I’m a Beltway guerrilla

Trade wars to the highest seller Continue Reading

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Who Committed Mass Atrocities in the Balkans? (2/2)

Who Committed Mass Atrocities in the Balkans? (2/2)

Last time:

Q: Who gets to decide what is a ‘Genocide’ or a ‘Crime Against Humanity,’ and what is merely a series of purportedly less serious war crimes or atrocities?

A: Whoever has the power to do so.

It’s as simple as that. No need to overthink it.

Yes: the official narrative on the very complex Balkans conflict is no more morally reputable than the ravings of David Irving who (as is well enough known) tried to challenge the well-established facts on the vile mass atrocities committed by the Nazis. Continue Reading

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Who Committed Mass Atrocities in the Balkans? (1/2)

Who Committed Mass Atrocities in the Balkans? (1/2)

Quick question:

Who was it that committed mass atrocities in the Balkans? Continue Reading

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Brown Irishmen Six: A Song of Fury

Brown Irishmen Six: A Song of Fury

Last night another innocent, peaceful person died in an “unknown” land.

When the body of this person was pulled from the rubble in an unknown city in a certain Middle Eastern country, this message, along with a photo, was found in his breast pocket. By some miracle, the text was still intact.

The woman in the picture looked like an Irish woman, and the humorous, teasing shamrocks on the underside of the photo would appear to confirm this. Continue Reading

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