Category: Biz News
Goldman Sachs Execs Actually Appreciate “Gold Man Sacks” Jabs
Goldman Sachs is arguably best known as the firm that created the most wealth for the most clients over the longest sub-decade period of prosperity in modern history, though they’re as well known as the people who created the equally…
US Revokes Citizenship of Corrupt CEOs… not really
The United States Government has started a unique new policy of retracting the citizenship of Corporate CEO’s and executives who believe they are above the law of the country. This has made an entire upper echelon of American business essentially…
Detroit Dismantled And Moved To Chicago
What is left of the city of Detroit was dismantled and shipped to Illinois this week. The Motor City, long beset by declines in the automotive industry and general economy, has given up the ghost as a separate city entity…
Collectible Quarters Offered as 3rd World Nation Pay
Philadelphia, PA (GlossyNews): Officials from the United States Mint announced today the inception of a new commemorative quarter program based on the popular “50 States Quarter Collection.” The program, already expanded to include all United States’ sovereign territories, the Presidents…
Chinese Call Americans Their “Dollar Store Bitches”
In a newly released book by Chinese-American Author, Pe Yuan Yu-Smith, titled “You Buy More Yankee, OK?” Americans are finally being made privy to some of the lesser known facts about the tenuous economic relationship between China and the United…
Special Hell for CEOs Created
God Almighty in close association with Satan has created a special hell for CEO’s and other business leaders who have helped to create the present worldwide financial meltdown (it seems Satan himself couldn’t stomach the gall of these money-engorged maggots…
Branson, Virgin to Build Ski Resort in Florida
London (GlossyNews) — A spokesman for Richard Branson today announced the entrepreneur’s plans to build a world class ski resort in Florida to take advantage of the changing climate. Stanley Kidd, in a press conference in London laid out Branson’s…
Warning: Bank Zombies Out to Get You
A new, terrifying species of vampire has been discovered that has begun a feeding frenzy throughout the world. The horrifying part is that it haunts the least likely of places, your local bank! This vampire is a new one for…
Congress Accidentally Gives South Dakota Back to Sioux
Washington DC (GlossyNews) — On Friday, in a late business wrap up, the US Congress gave back the state of South Dakota to the Oglala Sioux Tribe. Reports have surfaced that an obscure bill, which was suppose to cede a…
Wal-Mart to Debut Hire-A-Zombie Program
Wal-Mart, leading the way in innovative ways to cut wages and benefits for American workers, has successfully created a “Hire-a-Zombie” program that is expected to dramatically change the Wal-Mart shopping experience.