Category: Religionism
Switzerland to Ban Muslim Minarets
Conservative moderate Swiss voters turned out en masse to support a referendum proposal banning the building of any more Islamic minarets. More than 75% of voters and 22 out of 26 cantons voted in favor of the ban – with…
Cannibals say ‘Sorry’ for Eating Vicar
A man whose English great-great-great grandfather was murdered then marinated in a hickory sauce for two days before being barbequed and eaten by South Pacific cannibals has taken part in a unique reconciliation ritual on their home island. In the…
Party Animal Gaddafi Goes Bonkers
Two hundred gold-digging Italian slappers bit off more than they could chew last Sunday night after answering a recruitment ad’ to attend a posh wine and dine shagfest do in the salubrious and elegant suburbs of exotic Rome. However canapés…
Pope to Search Space For New Communicants/Converts
THE VATICAN, Rome — The Pontifical Academy sent out news this week that the Vatican was beginning to search far and wide for new communicants. This seemingly sudden rush to sign up new members follows quickly on the rather poor…
Huckabee Secret Meeting With Robertson Revealed
Virginia Beach, Va. – Presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee met in secret with Dr. Pat Robertson at his Regent University offices recently, and we’ve got the exclusive on this private meeting. At first glance, the meeting would seem to have been…
Beefeaters Accused of Rampant Sexism
Two Beefeaters at the Tower of London have been suspended from duty – by the thumbs – while a third is currently undergoing a course of extraordinary rendition in the Tower’s basement dungeons in connection with allegations of harassing their…
Idiotic India Goes on Wicked Witch Hunt
A small coven of women were paraded naked, beaten with sticks of rhubarb and forced to eat human excrement by superstitious villagers after being branded as witches in India’s remote northern Moronland province. Police chief Ramjam Jaffacake told a reporter…
Diocese Brings Prettier Face to Kiddie Fiddling: Bankruptcy
The US Roman Catholic diocese of Wilmington is attempting to delay the start of a paedophile sex abuse trial yet again with a last ditch bankruptcy move to file for Chapter 11 protection since a celebrated deviant clergy / kiddie…
Church Choirs Get ‘Shut the Hell Up’ Notices, Finally
Two churches in London have been ordered to keep the noise down after neighbours complained about the deafening hymn renditions from their choir’s singing voices at Sunday services. Noise abatement notices were issued to the Church of Latter Day Rastafarians…
Church Declares Halloween ‘Demonic’, 5 Old Ladies Shocked
A Smegmashire Church of England magazine – the Avenging Angel – has drawn severe criticism from the laity for describing people participating in traditional Halloween celebrations as “siding with the Devil”. The Avenging Angel article also claims the children’s practice…