Category: Human Interest
Texas Messed With
AUSTIN, TX – It has been confirmed that the southern state of Texas was messed with today, as details of the messing continue to emerge. Little is known at present about the exact nature of the messing, but various spokesmen…
How to initiate a Twerk Session
It’s a Friday night. Classes went well because you didn’t drool on your desk when you fell asleep during the lecture in Philosophy class, and the girl who sits behind you agreed to go to a house party with you…
Local Man Heartbreakingly Proficient at Preparing Single Serving Frozen Dinners
DENVER—Resident mortgage loan processing clerk Gordon Holcomb discussed with reporters on Tuesday the fact that he has become highly skilled at microwaving frozen dinners intended exclusively for a forlorn, solitary soul. Correspondents winced as Holcomb described in excruciating detail the…
Man Suffers Hernia, Sues Fast Food Chain
Jason Dimples, a 27-year old iron worker from Youngstown, Ohio, has recently filed a Complaint for injuries he received several months ago while dining with his family at a local fast food restaurant. In his Complaint, Dimples alleges he was…
So you think you know Canada, eh? Seven myths about our neighbors to the north
The United States shares a border with its neighbor to the north, Canada, that’s 5,525 miles long – or if you happen to be Canadian, that’s 8,891 kilometers – not that anybody really uses kilometers, mind you. Did you know…
Man Bites Tongue; Unable to Eat His Words
A local man has found himself in quite a difficult situation as he unfortunately bit his tongue and was unable to eat his words after spouting off at his mother-in-law during her holiday visit to their home. Henry Smouth of…
Friend Just Hasn’t Been the Same Since He Won That Free Pepsi
COLORADO SPRINGS, CO—Colorado Springs resident Wayne Gallaway reported earlier today that his friend, Spencer Buckner, has let the fact that Buckner won a free Pepsi from the bottle cap of another Pepsi go completely to his head. “I just don’t…
Stupid Non-Depressed Roommate Walking Around, Doing Stuff
SCOTTSDALE, AZ—Area man and local depressive Adam Holt reported that his “stupid roommate is just, like, walking around… doing stuff.” “How can he do that?” wondered Holt. Holt took advantage of his ideal observation point on the living room sofa,…
Myth-busting website Snopes.com revealed to be a hoax – according to Snopes.com
Visit Snopes.com, the myth-busting web site and you will discover something new every time. And in most cases, what you’ll discover is that a lot of things you always thought were true were in fact LIES! For example, just last…
Important safety alert: The dangers of texting while breathing
In our increasingly technology-bound culture, cell phone use has exploded over the past decade. A recent report indicates there are now more cell phones in the USA than people, and three times more cell phone users than people who can…