Category: Opinion/Editorial
So you think you know Canada, eh? Seven myths about our neighbors to the north
The United States shares a border with its neighbor to the north, Canada, that’s 5,525 miles long – or if you happen to be Canadian, that’s 8,891 kilometers – not that anybody really uses kilometers, mind you. Did you know…
Why grow your business when you can optimize your real-time ROI yield
I’ve spent the better part of the past 25 years (and the worse part as well) in sales and marketing. One thing that has always impressed me in checking out the marketing collateral and the web sites of the major…
Business Lesson #84 – How to write an apology letter to upset customers
Last week, we talked about how to handle situations when your customers complain about a product defect, such as, “How come when I use your curling iron, it turns causes my hair to evaporate?” Of course the best policy is…
Dear Nick: The Practical Advice Column
I’ve grown disheartened with standard advice columns such as “Dear Abby” and “Ask Amy”. We are all long overdue for a practical advice column with some real-life answers. Here are a few questions and home-spun practical advice from the advice-master…
Maybe the Mayans were right. Religious scholars say gay marriage a sign the end is near.
Experts in ancient Mayan culture recently prophesized that the world would come to a cataclysmic end in 2012, give or take a year or two. They based this on detailed interpretations of the ancient Mayan calendar. Thanks to President Obama’s…
Evil Again Seeps Into Our Lives (Not the IRS This Time Either)
Ding dong the witch is back! Blown in by a rouge wind from the north, the bitch whom I literally can’t stand returns. Even my hopes that the wretched bowel movement of life Roger Ailes would not have any future…
Editorial: An important message from your cat
[This week, Glossy News is pleased to introduce Tuxedo, a 23-pound spokescat who has requested to provide this op-ed piece, representing the views of household cats everywhere.] Hey, owner. This is your cat. There appears to be a little confusion…
Glossy News 2013 Predictions: It’s going to snow a lot… somewhere… eventually
Every year since Glossy News first started publishing during the Truman Administration, we have made bold predictions about the year ahead – in politics, world affairs, pop culture and advances in cutlery. Our staff possesses an uncanny ability to peer…
The Nightmare of Living in America’s Friendliest Town
You might think living in America’s friendliest town must be a fairy tale. Au contraire. It’s a living Hell. Forbes Magazine just came out with its ranking of the Friendliest Towns in America. Coming in at the #1 spot on…
Don’t Let Your Dishwasher Destroy Your Marriage
If you’re like my wife, then after you’ve been married for about two years, you probably realize your decision to get married was a serious mistake. Marriage is difficult, especially if your husband is a humor writer or you have…