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Fake News or Funny News? The Weirdest Headlines of the Weekend! (2/2)

Fake News or Funny News? The Weirdest Headlines of the Weekend! (2/2)

Here we go! Hope you enjoyed the previous one. You can always follow us on Facebook, to get some more; see the link at the bottom of the page! Continue Reading

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Fake News or Funny News? The Weirdest Headlines of the Weekend! (1/2)

Fake News or Funny News? The Weirdest Headlines of the Weekend! (1/2)

You can always trust Glossy News to be the funniest peddlers of mirth of all, in the entire
DISHONEST FAKE NEWS MEDIA
As a certain person calls it!
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MSNBC: “Donald Trump Maintains Resounding 90% Approval Rating… In Russia!”

MSNBC: “Donald Trump Maintains Resounding 90% Approval Rating… In Russia!”

The cutting-edge liberal journalists of MSNBC have recently provided some astonishing revelations about the POTUS.

The home of Rachel Maddow, Keith Olbermann, and other people slightly to the left of Fox News and Infowars, has recently come up with some very interesting news about The Donald. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, World News0 Comments

Right-Wing Media Finally Embrace SJWs

Right-Wing Media Finally Embrace SJWs

Shona Grammy and Super Bill Frieli from Weasel News broke down in tears yesterday when they realized that the people they had been dismissing for years as “Whiney, crybaby Reddit SJWs” were actually people just like them. Continue Reading

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Richard Littlejohn and Polly Toynbee Finally Reach Consensus

Richard Littlejohn and Polly Toynbee Finally Reach Consensus

This is an excerpt from the debate I hosted between Richard Littlejohn and Polly Toynbee on a well known, highly-respected and thoroughly unbiased media outlet. Have a look; just in case you, by any strange chance, managed to miss it.

Littlejohn:

No, I’m serious Polly, really Polly, this has gone too far. It was one thing when public money was being diverted into groups for gay Peruvian mountain climbers and genderqueer limbo-dancers from Sardinia…
Yes, I was even prepared to put up with it, for the sake of the peace, when there was the odd bit of hard-working taxpayers’ money going to assist lesbian Scandinavian Latin archivists with bowel problems. But now, I open the paper this morning, and what do I see?

Toynbee:

Oh do shut up, no, really, I’m beyond caring, Richard. You’re entirely distorting the issues. None of these groups exist.
Yes, you’re constructing a hegemonic semiotic narrative, in accordance with a dubious Wittgensteinian language game that normal, decent people such as…

Littlejohn:

Well, I have the evidence! Look it up in your own time!
And anyway, the moment we start shelling out taxpayer’s money for ultraviolet Trans-Sogdian Pan-Akkadian origami massage therapy for bi-curious former dissident Tibetan monks…
Who, by the way, belong to a sub-sect making up only 1.2% of the hardly voluminous Gelugpa sect, who are mainly found in one single autonomous region of the People’s Republic of China…
Monks who, in order to qualify, must be ginger-haired, vegan wheelchair users with asthma, a dodgy leg and a touch of long-term and sufficiently severe insomnia that impacts severely enough on their daily lives to…
Well, to just about prevent them from claiming their welfare benefits in person or fitting their own Sky TV box themselves…

Toynbee:

Oh do shut up, no, really, I’m beyond caring, Richard. You’re entirely distorting the issues. None of these groups exist.
Yes, you’re constructing a hegemonic semiotic narrative, in accordance with a dubious Wittgensteinian language game that normal, decent people such as… Well… We just won’t agree, I’m afraid! Harrumph!

Richard:

Well you’re not far off the mark there, Polly! You’re right, we won’t agree, you are absolutely right about that,

Toynbee:

You are 100% correct… oh. Oh, God!

Toynbee:

That’s right, indeed… But oh! Oh, really, oh dear! Oh, now… I see what we just did there.

Richard:

You telling me? Urgh! I’ve just agreed with Polly Toynbee! My career is ruined! Urgh! Yuck! I can’t believe I’ve brought this on myself! After all these years! I’m disgusted with myself! I don’t want to even think about… Oh, God!
Oh, God! I mean, this is worse than that time Ed Miliband tried to take a selfie with me at the idiotic Trot demonstration when I was trying to grab a good, honest, city sarnie in Pret… Sorry sorry, I mean, a less lefty one, let’s say Starbucks..

Toynbee:

Oh, really, oh, what a pity, I’m going to have to find a new career too. Imagine having the slightest modicum of common ground with Richard Littlejohn! Really!
Oh dear! I simply can’t bear it! We said we were in total agreement, did we not?… Oh dear, really!

Richard:

Well, you think you’ve got problems? God! I can’t believe it! My reputation is finally ruined!

Please don’t worry. I can assure you all that despite this setback, Richard and Polly will be back soon to give you their opinions on How To fix Broken Britain,™  and How To Rebuild The Unrebuildable Wreckage Wreaked By The Unaccountable and Unelected Con-Dem Coalition.™
Still, can’t believe I found these two journalists agreeing on something though; you just couldn’t make it up, could you?
Oh, and one last word from Polly:
“Actually, dear interviewer, you just did.”
Oh, wait and Richard too?
“No, he bloody well didn’t, Polly!”
Well… let’s not go down that road.

Image attribution:

By Chatham HousePolly Toynbee, CC BY 2.0, Link

Originally published on The Spoof.

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Bill O’Reilly’s “Blue Sky Denialism” Controversy

Bill O’Reilly’s “Blue Sky Denialism” Controversy

Democratic politician Barney Frank may be retired now, but he’s still enjoying (as much as ever!) the witty repartee and genial jousting in the Fox News studio.
Yup! A Bill O’Reilly clip has just gone viral, where the Fox commentator reduces Barney to abject bemusement regarding Frank’s far-left socialist-welfarist-eco-freakian “Big Lie” about the sky being blue. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Television0 Comments

Republications Tomorrow from Another Great Satire Outlet: & Should You Cut or Grow the Pie?

Republications Tomorrow from Another Great Satire Outlet: & Should You Cut or Grow the Pie?

I’ve written for many satire outlets in the past. One of the first ones I ever wrote for, apart from Glossy News (remember to like our Facebook page!) is The Spoof. Continue Reading

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Dodgy, Machiavellian “House of Cards” Creep Thinks UKIP is Too Extreme for Him

Dodgy, Machiavellian “House of Cards” Creep Thinks UKIP is Too Extreme for Him

The sinister, sleazy Creep-in-Chief from House of Cards has decided that things have gone too far. Wild as he is, even UKIP is too much. Continue Reading

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Posted in Television, World News0 Comments

How Did I Get our Facebook Page to Take Off? Advice for Bloggers…

How Did I Get our Facebook Page to Take Off? Advice for Bloggers…

It’s very important for satire sites to get a page on Facebook.

So it’s not surprising that Glossy News has our own Facebook page. (Don’t forget to like it, after you’ve shared this article!)

But for quite a while, our stats were poor. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Technology0 Comments

Is This the End of Daniel O’Donnell? Irish Country Music Celebrity has his Worst Scandal Yet

Is This the End of Daniel O’Donnell? Irish Country Music Celebrity has his Worst Scandal Yet

Everyone’s favourite cuddly and genial country singer, Daniel O’Donnell, has enraged thousands of fans in Ireland, both North and South. Apparently, the man unfortunately caricatured by malicious critics as the housewife’s favourite, is actually not in the least partial to a cup of tea and a wee biccie. Continue Reading

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ISIS, ISIS Baby! Is the Caliphate Ready for Yet Another Vanilla Ice Parody?

ISIS, ISIS Baby! Is the Caliphate Ready for Yet Another Vanilla Ice Parody?

Yo, brother, let’s stone it!

ISIS ISIS baby
ISIS ISIS baby Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, War Zone0 Comments

5 Tips to Successfully Analyze Your Poker Results

5 Tips to Successfully Analyze Your Poker Results

Most committed poker players have ways to analyze their results over specific time periods. They do this mainly to improve their future scores by positively changing the past and present results. Continue Reading

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Bad News for Satire Authors? Pronoun Shuts Up Shop

Bad News for Satire Authors? Pronoun Shuts Up Shop

Indie authors will be disappointed to learn that Pronoun are soon to be no more; they recently thanked customers, saying: Continue Reading

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How to Change Your Gmail Recovery Details (Email Address & Phone Number)

How to Change Your Gmail Recovery Details (Email Address & Phone Number)

Gmail is a very popular email service; and learning how to use it is very important.

If you ever forget your password and get locked out, you need an up-to-date recovery phone number or email address. Continue Reading

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Johnny Cash: Perfection Through Imperfection

Johnny Cash: Perfection Through Imperfection

Johnny Cash was the real ‘Man in Black.’
He knew that moral courage and virtue and true compassion covered a multitude of human frailties. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Music0 Comments

Cenk Uygur: Extraordinary, Unprecedented Anti-Corporation Rant

Cenk Uygur: Extraordinary, Unprecedented Anti-Corporation Rant

A recent “virulent” rant by Cenk Uygur has gone “viral” on Youtube…
Oh, crap. Mere semantics again, isn’t it? Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Entertainment0 Comments

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