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GlossyNews Exclusive: Shots From Jim Cramer’s Wedding

GlossyNews Exclusive: Shots From Jim Cramer’s Wedding

Summit, New Jersey – “Boo-yah!” The popular Mad Money host shouted from inside the lovely ballroom at the Grand Summit Hotel after marrying Karen Backfisch-Olufsen in front of a crowd of about 200 people last Saturday.

“It’s beautiful,” guest Jon Stewart, the host of The Daily Show, tearfully expressed right before the ceremony. “Jim and I recently cleared up some beef we had from back in 2009, and in the process, rekindled a true friendship. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Entertainment0 Comments

Glossy News In Deep Doo-Doo Over Disney- Star Wars Movie Hacking

Glossy News In Deep Doo-Doo Over Disney- Star Wars Movie Hacking

Glossy News, a top genetically altered news website on the Internet, has suddenly found itself in over its head in a lawsuit filed by the behemoth Disney Corporation.

It seems that Glossy last month published an article exposing the top secret plot outline for the new Star Wars movie, the first in an alleged trilogy of the famous Sci Fi series (see ‘SCOOP- Glossy News Gets The Script For The New Disney Star Wars Movie’ from Dec. 3, 2014). Continue Reading

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America Responds To Kim Jong Un; “Thank You For Saving Us From Watching This Stupid Stoner Movie”

America Responds To Kim Jong Un; “Thank You For Saving Us From Watching This Stupid Stoner Movie”

Americans were especially thankful to North Korea and Kim Jong Un this Holiday season for saving them from watching yet another stupid pot-head movie.

“It saved me ten bucks in ticket prices and another eight in popcorn and soda,” stated John Gawker from Greeley Colorado. “Watching movies like this is like riding a sled downhill and purposely plowing into trees! It gives you the same sort of headache.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Talky Pictures3 Comments

Joan Rivers Makin’ Em Laugh in Hell

Joan Rivers Makin’ Em Laugh in Hell

Comedienne Joan Rivers may have died last week following complications from plastic surgery, but that doesn’t mean she’s slowed down or lost her edge.

The eighty-one year-old comic, known for her bitchy attitude, is still makin’ ’em laugh in the after world. The dead comedian was quickly sent straight to Hell, where she is expected to stay for some time. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment2 Comments

Lorde’s New Songs Leaked

Lorde’s New Songs Leaked

Lorde’s newest songs have been leaked to the media. A secret snitch sent along a copy of the eighteen year-old New Zealander’s latest songs.

The source says “Little White Yugos” is likely to be at least a moderate success on the pop charts. “All the songs are rap songs,” goes the first verse.

“All about big cars/But my friends don’t ride in Cadillacs/They drive little white Yugos/Little white Yugos/Yugos/Or they ride the bus.” Sing along to the tune of “Royals” and you’ll get the idea. Continue Reading

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Sony Counter-Hacks North Korea: All 23 Computers Go Dark

Sony Counter-Hacks North Korea: All 23 Computers Go Dark

On December 21st the entire Internet in North Korea was shut down by a major cyber attack. (Note- a major cyber attack in the Communist state would be the equivalent of accidentally pulling out your plug on an old Commodore computer in any other country, say Peru). Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Talky Pictures3 Comments

Free Speech Freaks Given New Hope in Ribbing North Korea

Free Speech Freaks Given New Hope in Ribbing North Korea

Prominent, but still sub-viral site GlossyNews.com has launched a Go Fund Me campaign to create a free-to-dowload video criticizing the regime.

The goal is to create a wicked, biting satirical film criticizing the totalitarian dynastic regime in North Korea.

The film would feature paid actors, paid crew and a tight production schedule. Continue Reading

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Posted in Talky Pictures, World News1 Comment

North Korea Bankrupt After Costs from Sony Hack

North Korea Bankrupt After Costs from Sony Hack

North Korea has gone bankrupt from its massive hacking assault on Sony Pictures.

The intrusion into the depths of Sony’s Corporation was ignited by their new film ‘The Interview’ which features two bumbling tabloid newsmen who are given the mission of assassinating North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un.

This indiscretion infuriated the real Jong Un who immediately funneled the entire countries anemic economy into the hacking barrage that exposed many of Sony’s secret files including high level employee wages (which shocked Jong Un in that one executive’s salary alone equals the entire gross national product of North Korea for a year), insulting emails about famous stars (which also encindered the Prez as some were about his secret fantasy love Jennifer Aniston), and photos of Seth Rogen in his underwear (which the Exalted One kept for his private collection). Continue Reading

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Posted in Talky Pictures, War Zone0 Comments

Colbert Snubbed Unpopular Obama in Series Finale

Colbert Snubbed Unpopular Obama in Series Finale

In the series finale of The Colbert Report, dozens of musical, political, film and other celebrities made an appearance… Obama participated, but was cut from the show.

Almost 50 guests appearead live on-stage during the prolonged, rousing rendition of “We’ll Meet Again” with the addition of a number of pre-recorded segments spliced in. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Television1 Comment

Farewell to a Legend. RIP Conservative Stephen Colbert

Farewell to a Legend. RIP Conservative Stephen Colbert

As a fake news man myself, I’ve been a loyal devotee of Stephen Colbert since before the pseudo-pundit had his own show.

Thursday, the legendary difference-maker signed off as his quasi-conservative self for the last time.

I watched the very first episode, and in the 1,447 episode run, I’ve probably only missed a dozen. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Television2 Comments

How to pull the perfect Christmas Present Poker Face

How to pull the perfect Christmas Present Poker Face

It is Christmas morning and the anticipation is killing you, all you want to do it dive into your stack of presents and find out what your close friends and family have got you this year.

There is no finer sight than the face of a loved one opening a gift and being overcome with joy. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Society0 Comments

Sony Pulls Out Just before Big Release

Sony Pulls Out Just before Big Release

Just over a week before the climactic release of Sony Picture’s “The Interview” starring Seth Rogan and James Franco, the studio has decided to pull out.

Sony has received a serious pounding after hackers gained access to the back door of the movie studio’s network.

With releases of salaries, social security numbers, and AIM exchanges, Sony’s stock is experiencing shrinkage as hackers are expected to tear further into the private sections of Sony’s database. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Crime2 Comments

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