Category: Celebrity Gossip
Obama Receives Hockey’s Lady Byng Award
MADISON SQUARE GARDEN, New York, NY (GlossyNews) — A puck rang off the iron heads of the NHL’s finest this weekend as Gary Bettman announced Barack Obama recipient of the coveted Lady Byng award. The players, who had waited all…
Bob Dylan Offers Help to a Mixed Up World: World Indifferent
GARY, Indiana, (GlossyNews) — Sixties icon Bob Dylan appeared, in all of his monochromatic splendor, at the National Press Club this week, announcing a new chapter in what’s already been an amazing career. Said the legendary balladeer, whom some consider…
Miley Cyrus Keynote Speaker at Exhibitionists’ Convention
SAN FRANCISCO, Kalifornia (GlossyNews) — Underage puddy cat queen, Miley Cyrus, who stunned her ‘tween fans by climbing out of a convertible in front of hundreds of paparazzi wearing a skin-tight mini dress with no underwear, is keynote speaker at…
Miley Cyrus: My Vagina Now More Popular than Jesus
NASHVILLE, Tenn. (GlossyNews) — After blowing the top off the entertainment world by exposing her bottom, a la Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus has come up with another stunner to draw media attention to herself, a la John Lennon: she claims…
Lady Gaga Bra Injures Dancers in Rehearsal
Los Angeles, CA – Little did Lady Gaga realize that the special rifle bra that was created for her “Alejandro” video actually was made from real rifles strapped to the front of the bra in such a way that when…
Palin Just a Typical Red Blooded (Necked?) Girl
Late one night last week, while she was in her compartment on the Lear60 from Fox leaving New York, Sarah and Todd were working on her autobiography. As they began to brainstorm, with the help of a ‘relaxation substance’ Sarah…
Palin’s Pillow Talk with a Patriot
Wilmington, De Patriot Time Travel — 1782 – On a recent time travel expedition to the late 1700’s, Sarah Palin found herself in bed with Jacob Broom, another B-level politician some consider a Founding Father and a man “who knows…
Palin Reports Russian Peeping Toms
Wasilla, Ak (GlossyNews) — Sarah Palin, potential candidate for the Presidency in 2012, has put in a complaint with the Alaskan State Troopers complaining of Russians peeping in her windows at night. As she once claimed that she “could see…
Kim Kardashian Opts for Butt Lift after Butt Pad Malfunctions
Sydney, Australia – An embarrassed Kim Kardashian was in tears last week due to a major malfunction of one of the silicone butt pads she was wearing. She reportedly was so embarrassed by the occurrence that she has scheduled a…
Kate Gosselin Puts Dancing Skills to Work Giving Lap Dances
Reading, PA (GlossyNews) – Never one to fret about where her next paycheck is coming from what with all her new-found skills and all, Kate Gosselin has put her recent professional dancing skills to use at the local Sheetahs Club…