Miley Cyrus: My Vagina Now More Popular than Jesus

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (GlossyNews) — After blowing the top off the entertainment world by exposing her bottom, a la Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus has come up with another stunner to draw media attention to herself, a la John Lennon: she claims her vagina is now more popular than Jesus.

During a recent press conference in which Cyrus touted her new CD, “Can’t Be Tamed,” Cyrus was asked about the mounting popularity of her underage underworld, recently flashed around the Internet after she allegedly exited a vehicle in front of paparazzi cameras while not wearing panties.

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Cyrus said, “Well, my vagina is more popular than Jesus now. I don’t know which will go first, my cooter or Christianity.” The statement caused an immediate stir in the cadre of male reporters ringing the young star with their tongues hanging out, and is guaranteed to raise a few eyebrows around the world.

Indeed, her vagina has taken on a life of its own and threatens to run roughshod over the careers of Lady Gaga and Katy Perry as Cyrus competes with naked pictures of everyday women dispensed for free on the Internet. To capitalize on the rising star trajectory coming from her vaginal release, and the fact that her bottom half is now more popular than her top half ever was, her manager has come up with a novel act: to have Miley perform the rest of her “Can’t be Tamed” tour standing on her head and lip syncing from her famous vagina.

In the old days, a similar dance move was called a “blow-off,” and in a nod to the by-gone era of stripping at the traveling carnival, Cyrus smokes a cigarette through her nether parts, blowing the smoke out of her anus during the encore. This part of her act alone is accredited for the reversal in slumping ticket sales; her core fans, girls 10- to 12-years-old, have ditched Cyrus’ newfound skankdom in droves. Older male fans, conversely, have increased in surprising numbers. According to one 46-year-old male audience member, “It sure beats the hell out of looking at an oil spill all summer.”

Rumors surfacing today also indicate that Cyrus’ next publicity stunt could involve shaving her head and trying to kill a car with an umbrella. Stay tuned for details.

Author: TawdrySoup.Com

I am a satire writer from the middle of nowhere. My work appears all over the internet. Please visit my website www.tawdrysoup.com where we give away millions of dollars every day! CHEERS!

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