Archive | Books, Newspapers & Misc

UK News Headlines: Utopia, Dystopia, Heterotopia (NSFW)

UK News Headlines: Utopia, Dystopia, Heterotopia (NSFW)

Not long ago I read, or else maybe just made up off entirely off the top of my head, some rather plausible UK headlines:

MP Sex Scandal: Cybersex Non-Mandela Selfie Embarrassment!!!
Daily Mail Moral Panic Rabble Rousers Censor Phobostratus Pig Anime!!
Extortionate Mobile Phone Deals Catch Lucrative New Labour Thinktank by Surprise… Funny, that!!!
Disneyland Paris Caught in Pincer Movement by Political Islamists and Rabid Humanitarian Liberation Supremacists!!!
Elvis Releases New Single, Radio 1 Says ‘We Refuse to Play this Mainstream Bollocks!!!’

In a short time, I managed to come up with the following rearrangements: Continue Reading

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Interview: Katie Hopkins Educates Me on ‘Disrespectful Behaviour’

Interview: Katie Hopkins Educates Me on ‘Disrespectful Behaviour’

Some time ago, I posted on my Wallace Runnymede blog the following piece:

London’s Drone-Happy Cockroach Caucus Loses Its Shit (But not its Bullshit)

The “Foreign Office” in London (formerly known as Airstrip One’s Ministry for Eternal War) has recently moralistically condemned the Russian government which (according to the IntCom/ComHum party line), has “no justification” (sic) for deciding who can or cannot enter the country.

Nick Clegg can’t enter Russia? It’s political correctness gone mad, innit! It weren’t like that in the old days, mate. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Celebrity Gossip0 Comments

Sunstormtroopin’ With Our Leader Captain Murdoch (To the Tune of “Starship Trooping”)

Sunstormtroopin’ With Our Leader Captain Murdoch (To the Tune of “Starship Trooping”)

Sunstormtroopin’ across the Shillaverse

Our dodgy media enterprise and glorious leader Captain Murdoch

Shitstormtroopin’ across the universe

At least we’re not the BBC, gotta helluh private purse!

 

Another immigrant report… Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Music0 Comments

Ebook News: New Satire Compilation, Two Ebooks Temporarily Withdrawn, And… What?! (2/2)

Ebook News: New Satire Compilation, Two Ebooks Temporarily Withdrawn, And… What?! (2/2)

Yesterday, I said that I’ve recently decided to temporarily withdraw The Great Flâneur Massacre from the market, as well as Reflections In and Out of Season. I will reintroduce them later. I gave my reasons for doing so… Always important to strategize carefully!

And I also said:

I need to think about accessibility: particularly because this is my first ever piece of extended fiction! I don’t want to give an unnecessarily negative impression.

I also said:

So what am I going to do?

Well, that would be telling! Find out tomorrow…

Here’s my plan going forward. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Entertainment0 Comments

Ebook News: New Satire Compilation, Two Ebooks Temporarily Withdrawn, And… What? (1/2)

Ebook News: New Satire Compilation, Two Ebooks Temporarily Withdrawn, And… What? (1/2)

For some time, I’ve had three self-published ebooks available on a number of outlets:

1. My novella, The Great Flâneur Massacre.

2. The non-fiction accompanying volume, Wallace Runnymede and The Great Flâneur Massacre: Reflections In and Out of Season.

3.  The fake news satire collection I Shouldn’t Do God (first volume of the anticipated series Wallace Runnymede Satire Catastrophes).

Here, I’m going to discuss my strategy for the next while: not only to keep you informed, or to maintain interest in my ebooks, but also to provide some reflections that might be of use for some people who either have self-published in the past, or are contemplating doing so in future. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Entertainment, Top Stories0 Comments

9/12/2001 – The Days After Cheney Became President – The Bitter End

9/12/2001 – The Days After Cheney Became President – The Bitter End

9/12/2001
THE DAYS AFTER CHENEY BECAME PRESIDENT
The Very Bitter End
Part 23 – Last Installment

(A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments – After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country. He begins immediately to make changes.

– – – – – – – – –

The meeting had gone well. Everyone present was satiated, not only with the smorgasbord of good news but also with the rich foods that filled their bellies. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Politics0 Comments

9/12/2001 – The Days After Cheney Became President – Part 22

9/12/2001 – The Days After Cheney Became President – Part 22

9/12/2001
THE DAYS AFTER CHENEY BECAME PRESIDENT
Changing Alliances
Part 22

(A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments – After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country. He begins immediately to make changes.

– – – – – – – – –

Sinchesi Yang waited in his pill box alone. The morning sun had just crested the mountains behind him sending a bright blaze of color and light across the sea stretching before him. Somewhere just beyond that blaze was the mainland of China. He watched the horizon carefully, knowing that somewhere over there were men who would kill him and any other soldier they came across on sight. He knew they would be ruthless. And they would come quickly. It was only a question of when. Taiwanese intelligence had briefed them on being extra vigilant these next few days. That and other preparations had tipped him off. He knew they were coming. All the higher officials were ill at ease and smoking more than they usually did. It was a sixth sense that he at times had since childhood. Continue Reading

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Expanded Release of Free Religious Satire Compilation: ‘I Shouldn’t Do God!’ (2/2)

Expanded Release of Free Religious Satire Compilation: ‘I Shouldn’t Do God!’ (2/2)

6. A Z GRIMSBY SLAYS THE DRAGON

Ain’t no atheist like a disenchantment-community atheist…? Well,  an outraged A Z Grimsby does indeed insist on holding forth on the purely irrational and frivolously superstitious basis of children’s toys, especially cuddly fictive animals.

I mean take dragons for example, they may be cuddly and funny and comfy and gloriously colored, flamboyantly patterned, and so on.

But they have absolutely nothing whatsoever, nothing IN THE LEAST to do with science as we now understand it.

Yes, well, if you tell your children that there MIGHT JUST be such a thing as a dragon, even leaving the question slightly open, you are giving the irrationalists an inch…

And they will undoubtedly take a mile. Or indeed ten!

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Religionism0 Comments

Expanded Release of Free Religious Satire Compilation: ‘I Shouldn’t Do God!’ (1/2)

Expanded Release of Free Religious Satire Compilation: ‘I Shouldn’t Do God!’ (1/2)

I’ve recently re-released the first volume of my fake news satire compilation series, Wallace Runnymede Satire Catastrophes. More Wallace Runnymede Satire Catastrophes volumes will follow from Spring 2016 onwards. But for now, volume 1, I Shouldn’t Do God, is a somewhat expanded one in comparison to the earlier version of this same first volume of this exciting ongoing series. And it’s free too!

Also, I have recently managed to get Reflections In & Out of Season, the accompanying volume to The Great Flâneur Massacre, brought down to free again too. And as for The Great Flâneur Massacre, this is still 99 cents, or similar in other currencies, depending on the location of the vendor! These latter two books are also available from the same ebook outlets as below. See more information at: http://wallacerunnymede.com/category/ebooks-2/

1. WHY SHOULDN’T I DO GOD?

My recent tribute essay to Charlie Hebdo, serialised on Glossy News. Links to Glossy News originals for each of the instalments here, and links to the Wallace Runnymede republication of the essay here.

2. UNPRECEDENTED VATICAN SCANDAL: GERMAN INFIDEL CANONIZED

The Vatican, like the Pope, should be infallible, but what happens when even infallible institutions slip up the odd time, and canonize people who have no right in hell to such an accolade?

If this is to stand, we might have to canonize other great, virtuous and saintly figures such as:

Buddha, Quetzalcoatl, Sri Krishna, Mungai, Amaterasu, Laozi, Adi Shankara, Hercules, Guru Nanak, the Dalai Lama, Elmer Gantry, Arius, Sabellius, Basilides, Valentinus, Simon Magus, Martin Luther…

3. DALAI LAMA SUES CANON WELBY

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Religionism0 Comments

Open Letter to Glenn Greenwald: Greenwald & the Ghostly-Chilling Effects (3/3)

Open Letter to Glenn Greenwald: Greenwald & the Ghostly-Chilling Effects (3/3)

All in all, I’m very relieved The Intercept never got back to me about that speculative CV. Perhaps I dodged a bullet there! It is evidently beneath Glenn Greenwald to say ‘Je Suis Charlie.’ So I am glad that, professionally speaking, I will never have to endure the rank humiliation of saying #JeSuis Intercept.’

Glenn, you are a person of quite astounding talent and passion. It’s just such a pity you seem to risk ruining your legacy. If you are for freedom of speech, as you claim, then you must be for it consistently. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Top Stories0 Comments

A3 Song Parody: Torybums Said

A3 Song Parody: Torybums Said

The original song by A3 quotes texts which have made available by the Jonestown Foundation. Jim Jones was a fanatic. It’s also fanatical to gut welfare when so much money is wasted on pointless vanity projects. Next time UK elects a Prime Minister, hopefully it will be a government with more character.
***

Pray don’t ever say we are your enemies. My noble benevolence has practically caused me to just get you destroyed. If I had squeezed you a little more, just a little bit more, we would have had a little less trouble.

Yes, you have a social conscience. Idealism! But don’t say ‘Dearest Tory-bums is my enemy!’ Eh? What’s that, oh do calm down, darling. Hearken unto me, chicken: ‘Greed is my enemy and I’ve got to fight for liberty day and night!’ And, ‘what else is death, other than liberty’ is the line. Liberty is the only way?

UTTER PIGGY-POO! FIDDLESTICKS, OLD BEAN! William Tyndale died for his liberty! Emmeline Pankhurst died for her liberty! The pleb scum of Wat Tyler died roaring about balderdash the rustic filth just couldn’t understand, and they never even stood their ground! Hacked down by the sword! Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Music0 Comments

Open Letter to Glenn Greenwald: Greenwald & the Ghostly-Chilling Effects (2/3)

Open Letter to Glenn Greenwald: Greenwald & the Ghostly-Chilling Effects (2/3)

Did you know that Greenwald once addressed CAIR,  which latter has been accused by the FBI of links to Hamas and the Muslim Brotherhood?

And did you also know that Greenwald writes, apparently without a trace of irony, about ‘the military coup (sic!) against the democratically elected Egyptian government of the Muslim Brotherhood’ (sic!)?

Presumably, this is not to be confused with the ‘democratically elected’ government of Germany, the National Socialists. Or how about the Ukrainian coup, or dare I say, ‘regime change?’ See this on some apparently unproven allegations that some have made about The Intercept’s billionaire funder Omidyar, and Greenwald’s consummately feeble rationalization, which will be perfectly convincing… Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Top Stories0 Comments

In Syria Did Cameron: An Ode to a Dynamic Intervention, in the Mode of Coleridge

In Syria Did Cameron: An Ode to a Dynamic Intervention, in the Mode of Coleridge

In Syria did Cameron

A pleasurable jape decree:

Where Euphrates river swells with death

And bodies numberless

Drift far by salted fields.

So ten times he’s wont to quake the earth

As trembling mothers give weeping infants birth Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Human Interest0 Comments

Open Letter to Glenn Greenwald: Greenwald & the Ghostly-Chilling Effects (1/3)   

Open Letter to Glenn Greenwald: Greenwald & the Ghostly-Chilling Effects (1/3)  

I’m going to hold my hands up. It is problematic to write negatively about someone you have once sent a CV to. People may think you are bitter and biased. And I wouldn’t normally do such a thing; prudential-wise and principle-wise alike, there are risks.

However, there are limits to such general principles, after all! And as my loyalty is to satire and to satirists (living and massacred alike), and not to the journalist I am going to talk about in the third person until the very end of this open letter, I am going to stick my neck out. In general, I prefer to take the painfully perilous and even life-endangering path of Charb, and not the safe, quasi-respectable and achingly comfortable path of Glenn Greenwald, a key ‘establishment indymedia’ figure.

 ‘Establishment indymedia?’ Contradiction in terms? Continue Reading

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9/12/2001 – The Days After Cheney Became President – Part 20

9/12/2001 – The Days After Cheney Became President – Part 20

9/12/2001
THE DAYS AFTER CHENEY BECAME PRESIDENT
The New White House
Part 20

(A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments – After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country. He begins immediately to make changes.

– – – – – – – – –

Work was going on well with the new White House complex area. A secondary fence had been built around the entire park across from the White House, pushing the protestors beyond the level to which he could hear their noise. The immense bunker complex was half finished, with the most crucial offices already open and running. It had been a marvel of building as during its construction there was to be no evidence of its creation above the surface. The machinery was brought in piecemeal at night and tunnels built through already existing underground complexes. Now as much work went on in the Cheney government underground as there did above. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Politics2 Comments

And Quoth The Raven “Gimmee S’Mores.”

And Quoth The Raven “Gimmee S’Mores.”

And Quoth The Raven “Gimmee S’Mores.”

(With apologies to Edgar Allen Poe for this blatant ripoff of his famous poem)

Once upon a day bright and cheery, while I hiked a trail loved dearly
Gazing o’er cliff and valley, sagebrush green and rose hued stone- Continue Reading

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