Author: Tim Jones
Experts Debate: Is Trump a Lunatic or Just an Idiot?
During his tenure as President of the United States, Donald Trump has repeatedly demonstrated a tendency toward outrageous and mercurial behavior. He took office vowing to build the now infamous Wall that Mexico would surely pay for. He expressed awe…
Fox News: Donald’s CAR CRASH Hurricane RANT!!!!
Welcome back to Fox News. In a moment, we’ll get to our top story – why 97% of Americans think Donald Trump is a better president than Abraham Lincoln, according to a recent Fox poll of white nationalists. But first,…
Trump Announces His Latest Premier Resort: TRUMP GREENLAND
August 26, 2019. Nuuk, Greenland – It was announced today that Trump Worldwide Resorts will soon open the crowning jewel in its long list of elite luxury properties: TRUMP GREENLAND. Initial errant remarks by Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen suggested…
We Interrupt This Breaking News for Breaking News
Wolf Blitzer: This is Wolf Blitzer. Welcome to The Situation Room. We have important breaking news. The Wall Street Journal reports that Democrats in Congress are pushing back against President Trump’s plans to go to war with Iran. They are…
Trying to Go Offline
Life is short – especially for my wife, who’s barely five feet tall. The years race by, we waste time, and before you know it, we discover we’ve missed out on what’s important in life: pizza. Add to this reality…
Alabama Proposed Reinstating Slavery
[Author’s Warning: This week’s post is in response to the Alabama State Legislature’s decision to pass the most draconian anti-abortion law in the country. So, if you’re from Alabama, or perhaps just a big Crimson Tide fan, you might want…
Trump Translation Guide
Over the first two years of Donald Trump’s presidency, he has made countless incredible statements and many bold claims about how great he is, how horrible his detractors are, and all the historic achievements he has made, which, according to…
BREAKING NEWS: Canada Announces Plans to Build Southern Border Wall
Ottawa – Today, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau delivered a landmark speech to the combined chambers of the Canadian Parliament. He announced his plans to erect a 50-foot-tall wall along the entire length of the USA-Canadian border to keep them…
My Short-Lived Career As A BINGO Announcer
Throughout my life, I’ve held a variety of jobs – from Sales Director to Director of Sales and everything in between. Given the chance, I could have been a superstar selling advertising, life insurance or legal research to anyone from…
You Can Take a Hike
Lately, whenever someone invites me to go hiking, my response is usually: “You can take a hike.” That’s because, I really don’t care for hiking. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not lazy. Okay, maybe that’s a lie. But I used to…