Author: Steve Fisher
Windows 10 Introduces Wide Array of Exciting New System Errors
Microsoft is proud to introduce Windows 10, the latest version of our operating system for PCs and tablets. To help you get to know our new system better, here are answers to some questions you might have. Why is it…
A Low Point for President Jesus
WASHINGTON – It has been a tough couple of months for President Jesus in the wake of the problem-plagued launch of the government’s HumanKindness.gov website and continuing criticism of his efforts to address the issues of unemployment and poverty in…
Satirical News Article Solves U.S. Gun Violence Problem
FAIRFAX, VA – The contentious issue of gun control in the U.S. appears to have been fully resolved today, following the on-line publication of a satirical news article which instantly united advocates on both sides of the issue with its…
CIA Internal Advisory: Secure Communications Guidelines
Dear colleagues, In light of recent developments, we would like to advise all agency personnel about the use of certain communications channels and processes which may not be sufficiently secure. Please pay attention to the new guidelines below. 1. Don’t…
Republicans Wish Democrats Would Stop Smiling
WASHINGTON – With the 2012 U.S. election now nearly a week old, Republican politicians are beginning to wonder how long it will take for their Democratic rivals to wipe the shit-eating grins off their faces and return to normal. “It…
Romney Leads Among Schizophrenics
GlossyNews.com – CLEVELAND – A new Gallup poll released today finds that Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney continues to trail President Obama in popularity among women, African-Americans, Hispanics, Asians, people with cell phones, people aware of the internet, and voters…
Barack Obama Asks for Your Vote… For Mitt Romney
By President Barack Obama My fellow Americans, Next Tuesday, November 6, is Election Day, and this year your vote is more important than ever before. That’s because in this election you have a choice between two very different visions for…
President Romney’s Inaugural Address
“I think my biggest concern obviously would just be for his mental well-being.” – Ann Romney on her concerns about her husband becoming President of the U.S. My fellow Americans. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Hee, hee, hee, ha, ha,…
Romney’s Economic Plan Is Right Direction For America, According to Apple Maps
Cupertino, CA – Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s plan for restoring the U.S. economy will lead to a new era of high employment and prosperity for the nation, according to Apple’s new iOS 6 based Maps app. By entering Mr….
10 Signs That You’re In a Long-Term Relationship
1. You finish each other’s sentences… because you can’t stand the sound of the other person’s voice. 2. You have wild, passionate sex all night long. Then you wake up. 3. Whenever you miss each other, you just pick up…