Author: Richard Seltzer
Trumpisms 12.0
425 “Trump truth” is an oxymoron. Trump and truth are opposites. And Trump is a moron. That’s your lesson for today. 426 Trump isn’t responsible for anything. He is reprehensible for everything. 427 As a young boy, Trump suffered from…
Trumpisms 11.0
376 As Trump continues to stink in the polls, of course he will try to discredit them. He doesn’t believe in the North Poll or the South Poll. Even the polls of Polland are fake news. 377 Beware of shaving…
Trumpisms 10.0 by Richard Seltzer
335 Satan is a great composer. His sin-phonies are epic. Especially his Trumplandia in B Flat Minor. 336 Millions of teenagers are now having a premature senior moment — their gradu-wait-ion ceremony. 337 An apt quote from Oliver Wendell Holmes:…
Trumpisms and Virusisms 9
285 In this time of crisis, lack of execution at the federal level is costing lives We should start by executing Trump first. 286 Masks with identity and personality? In the new normal will you order custom masks online? Virus-protecting,…
Trumpisms and Virusisms 8.0
226 Suggestion — Instead of calling coronavirus the “Chinese virus,” let’s call it the “Trump virus” or “Donny’s hoax.” 227 How to enforce social distancing — add to the nation’s water supply a chemical that induces mild autism so we…
Trumpisms 7.0: Another One for Luck!
184 Cause of the pandemic? Trump’s reign became toxic and his tweets went viral.
Trumpisms 6.0: Cos You Can’t Keep a Good Hater Down!
146 If Roberts rules for order, he could right the Schiff of state. 147 Britain has its Brexit. Now we need our Trumpxit. 148 Putin has finally confessed — mea culpa crime mea. Trump should too, as the metoo president….
GUESS WHO’S BACK! Trumpisms 5.0
114 Sign on White House door: Gone fission. Be back tomorrow, if there is a tomorrow. 115 Definition of nuclear retaliation — the morning after pill. Guaranteed to prevent pregnancy. Every pregnancy. 116 “It’s falling! It’s falling!” “What?” asked Trump….
Trumpisms 4.0: Have We Had Enough Yet?!
93 When Melania gave Donnie a book for Christmas, He put it in the oven. He explained, “I cook all my books.”
Trumpisms 3.0: Worse & Worser, Curiouser & Curiouser!
ED: Does anybody like sick jokes? Or at least sick jokes about sick jokes? Well here’s a double bill of twisted Trump humor! Don’t forget instalments one and two as well… Trumpisms 3.0 by Richard Seltzer