Author: rfreed
America Citizens Revolt: Dismantle Executives
Detroit, MI (GlossyNews) — The citizens of the United States today in a mass movement became the largest bank in the world. Strapped with the responsibility of saving huge financial institutions from insolvency and the auto industry as well as…
Psychologists Work to Help Celebs Struggling with Gorgeous Wives
Rising to meet the current celebrity fiasco involving extra-marital affairs, Hollywood based Psychological Resources group has set up a new service to aid those stars who are unable to keep their sexual organs within the family sphere of things. Starting…
Al Queda Looking For A Few Good Yuppies
New York, NY — In a unique reversal of its former policy of attracting the poor and oppressed for its legions of bomb makers and bomb blowers, Al-Queda has changed its strategy to recruiting young, rich Westerners to its agenda…
Virgin Galactic Hijacked By Cylon Robots
The worlds first space vehicle designed to allow passengers to experience space travel and weightlessness was hijacked today by robotic Cylons demanding that they be flown to somewhere called the “12 Colonies”. The Virgin Galactic was just preparing for takeoff…
Osama’s Cave Getting Too Crowded
(Information received by word of mouth via the north Pakistan grapevine) Osama bin Laden’s cave has become crowded beyond capacity due to President Obama’s decision to send an additional 30,000 US troops to Afghanistan. Every Taliban member not busy committing…
Fir Trees Being Kidnapped Mysteriously Around The World
Thousands of fir trees have been mysteriously disappearing from forests around the Western world in the last few weeks. Forest rangers making their rounds have been shocked to find many conifers, mostly young ones between three and six feet tall,…
UPS Vs The Post Office — Annual Race Between The Tortoise And Hare
The time of year has come for the great Christmas race between the tortoise and the hare. Those who know Aesop’s fable, know it as a moralizing tale. In this case, it involves a total lack of morals whatsoever. This…
Salvation Army: More Bell Ringers Going Mad This Season
The Salvation Army has reported a higher than normal number of Christmas bell ringers going mad this holiday season. Every year there are always a few who go loopy from the constant ringing of their little hand bells and the…
O’Reilly Interviews God, Tells Him To ‘Shut Up’
In a controversial incident on Fox News, Bill O’Reilly was interviewing God, asking how the Almighty could come to allow the Democrats to run both the Senate and White House. During God’s attempt to explain that he had to be…
In True American Form, Hawaii Renamed “Bob Islands”
In a tradition that dates back to the time of the first white European navigators, the federal government, composed mostly of old white men, will change the name of the Hawaiian islands to something more Aryan- they will be renamed…