Faced with a declining birth rate and an ever growing elderly population, Japanese citizens are being encouraged to have more sex.
“Japanese men and women seemed to have lost interest in sex!” said prominent Japanese legislative leader Seiko Noda. “We need to stimulate the people’s interest in sex before the whole country disappears!”
Noda proposes a government sponsored “get laid now” campaign to stimulate the libido of Japanese citizens. Under the proposal, citizens will be provided with erotic literature, sexy lingerie, lubricating lotions, edible panties, fishnet stocking and bondage equipment such as whips and chains.
“We will not provide condoms or French Ticklers because that would defeat the whole purpose!” Noda explained.
In a recent survey 38% of Japanese men and 39% of Japanese women between the ages of 18 and 34 admit they have never had sex at all.
“I’ve had a couple of blow jobs”, said 28 year old Shinjo Ichikawa. “But I have never put my dick in a vagina”.
Experts claim that Japanese women simply aren’t interested in the tiny penises Japanese men have in relation to white or black men.
“I just like to play with myself”, said 24 year old Akiko Shonokane. “I have a career. I don’t have time for little Japanese penises. And it’s so hard to find a gaijin (foreigner)”.
“We may have to open our doors to foreigners in order to interest more women in sex’, said Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.