Author: Liberties-Taken
Blues Legend “Deaf Willie” Johnson Dies
HAZLEHURST, MS (GlossyNews) — Sources close to GlossyNews confirm that today one of the most influential voices in Delta Blues has gone to heaven. Or so we hope. The oldest child of sharecroppers Sam and Thelma Johnson, “Deaf Willie” never…
Birthers — Less Relevant than David Cassidy?
Mexicali, BC, Mex (Noticias Mexicanas) In these troubled economic times, some doubt the old paradigms of Democrat and Republican remain relevant, pointing to ever growing fragmentation on both ends of the political spectrum. Their thesis seemed to gain credence this…
Science Nears Cure for Pat Robertson
Pat Robertson, the famed televangelist, remains hospitalized with mysterious needle-like pains that grow worse every time he mentions Haiti, earthquake or Voodoo. The medical world continues to be baffled by the odd pathology. Actor Hugh Laurie of the popular “House”…
SCOTUS rules Black History Month ‘Getting Old, Fast’
Washington DC By the narrow margin Court watchers have come to expect, the Supreme Court ruled today that Black History Month should “get over itself already.” In the five vote majority opinion, Justice Clarence Thomas wrote, “There is no Constitutional…
John Edwards to Appear on Jerry Springer
In what is hailed as a media coup, former 2008 presidential candidate John Edwards has agreed to an exclusive deal with Jerry Springer Productions. According to Washington insiders, the move is a bold “out of the box” insurgency first step…
Robertson Hospitalized with Mysterious ‘Sharp Pains’
Programming ceased today at the popular 700 Club network, as Pat Robertson was rushed to the hospital. The 79 year old televangelist complained of “like needles sticking in me all over, particularly in the crotch area.” The attack came as…
Salinger Grocery Lists to be Published
The literary world was shocked this week by news of J.D. Salinger’s death. Author of the iconic coming of age tale Catcher in the Rye, Salinger died at his New Hampshire home, aged 91. The non-literary world was shocked that…
Non-Famous Person Dies
Actor Blaine Thornton passed away this week at his home in San Diego, California. He was 91. Mr. Thornton will long be remembered as one of the major stars in early television, but only by his immediate family. A child…
Adam Lambert Quells Concerns on Dubai Credit Crunch
Long having been regarded the financial heart of the Middle East, Dubai rocked world markets this week with announced uncertainty on servicing some $60 billion in debt. So today’s further information was heralded as calming news that will facilitate market…