Mexicali, BC, Mex (Noticias Mexicanas) In these troubled economic times, some doubt the old paradigms of Democrat and Republican remain relevant, pointing to ever growing fragmentation on both ends of the political spectrum. Their thesis seemed to gain credence this week, in the splintering of yet another splinter group.
The ‘Birthers’ as they prefer to be called, began during the heated Democratic primary season, via the efforts of a stalwart Hillary supporter’s opposition research. Since then the movement has taken on a life of its own on the right, but experts had thought it the most stable splinter group, until this week.
To outside observers, this surprising schism seems as deep and irreversible as when Martin Luther broke with the Church of Scientology in 1520.
“Totally unprecedented” mumbled Yale’s Lief Garrett, before nodding off again. Awakened, Professor Garrett elaborated. “They’re definitely going ‘big tent’ here, and that’s what both parties have to do in the coming election. It shows a shrewdness none of us anticipated. You think David Cassidy is talented? No way! I’ve seen him without makeup. Scary! That’s what got me on the juice.”
Professor Garrett’s comments of course refer to the much publicized split in the ‘Birther’ movement. While the core group will go on insisting President Obama was born in Kenya, the bold young Turks who’ve emerged will focus on maintaining Hawaii is not actually part of the US.
Hugo Stiglitz, spokesman for the newly formed Fair Elections Can Endure Somehow said, “How do we know Hawaii ever became a state? Were you there when the charter was signed? Have you ever seen the charter? I think FECES has adequately made its case here.”
Off camera, Mr. Stiglitz pointed out to reporters there is no other state that starts with an ‘H’ so this is obviously a deep seated conspiracy.