Author: E. Williams
The ‘Avengers’ Called Upon to Battle Militant Extremists in Iraq
United Nations – The United Nations has formally asked the ‘Avengers’ to step in and quell the current wave of violence in Iraq that is being waged by the extremist terror group known as ISIS. As the terrorist savages closed…
CNN Knows What Happened to Missing Emails From Lois Lerner
Atlanta – CNN president, Jeff Zucker, has leaked information that shows the network is aware of what happened to two years of missing emails between embattled IRS operative, Lois Lerner, and various people in government, including the White House.
Jay Carney Addresses Sex Change Transformation Rumors
Washington – Outgoing 16 year-old White House press secretary, Jay Carney, has finally admitted his secret sex change transformation from a man to a woman is well underway and that hormone replacement therapy is ongoing. Carney, who originally had planned…
Hillary Clinton Reveals She Was Original Member of “The Beverly Hillbillies”
New York City – Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton came out of the poor house long enough today, on her current book tour, to confess to the world how hard her life has been. She and former President Clinton…
President Obama Orchestrates Worst Trade in History of Trades
Washington, D.C. – Most people consider the Boston Red Sox trade of future baseball god Babe Ruth for a cash loan to finance the No, No, Nanette musical to be the worst trade of all time. But No, No, Nanette,…
Door Hits Jay Carney 55 Times on the Way Out
Washington, D.C. – 16 year-old former White House Press Secretary, Jay Carney, is in the hospital for observation after being beaten up by a door as he left the press briefing room after announcing his resignation. Carney, who now plans…
Gwyneth Paltrow Fitted for Muzzle, Treated for Diarrhea of the Mouth
Los Angeles, CA – Some people don’t know when to shut up. Such is the case with actress Gwyneth Paltrow. Her mouth has gotten her in hot water with critics again and, this time, drastic measures have been taken to…
Santa Barbara Killer’s Motive Baffles Eggheads, Know-It-All Professors
Santa Barbara, CA – As the country tries to make sense of the recent tragedy in California, the nation’s elite are always quick to point out the answers to those of us who aren’t nearly as smart as they are….
Former MTV Host Arrested For Breaking Into Sirius/XM Headquarters
New York City – Mark Goodman, a former VJ from the 1980’s heyday of MTV, was hauled away in handcuffs last week after being caught hitting the button that turns all Sirius/XM radios on, regardless of whether the customer has…
California Considers Move to Ban ‘Blonde Sluts’ After Man Goes on Rampage Because He Never Got Any
Isla Vista, CA – A delusional, 22 year-old man went on a premeditated killing spree Friday night in an attempt to get “retribution”, as he stated it, for the slight he felt humanity had given him. His hatred focused on…