Jay Carney Addresses Sex Change Transformation Rumors

Washington – Outgoing 16 year-old White House press secretary, Jay Carney, has finally admitted his secret sex change transformation from a man to a woman is well underway and that hormone replacement therapy is ongoing.

Carney, who originally had planned to finish high school after leaving the White House, put to rest rumors that he had been living a double life for quite some time.

The former spin doctor has actually been moonlighting as a spokesperson for the State Department, going by the name Marie Harf. Many in the White House press pool were not surprised after hearing the news.

When a person has been twisting stories for so long, it is hard to simply walk away and try to resume a normal life. Jay thought he could get away with his double life forever but too many reporters were getting too suspicious and he knew he had to come clean.

CNN’s Anderson Cooper remarked, “Many of us noticed that ‘Marie’ had the same nasty, arrogant, bitchy attitude that Jay showed when confronted by tough questions from the press. Add in the glasses and you would have to be a fool not to notice.”

After Major Garrett, from ABC News, caught Jay buying pantyhose and tampons at a Washington D.C. area 7-11, Carney knew the jig was up.

Carney admitted the girly beard he sported earlier this year was not intentional on his part, but rather a side effect of the huge amounts of hormones he has been taking as part of the sex change therapy.

He said he would continue to bullshit for the State Department despite the public’s awareness of his changing condition.

“My kids are confused as hell, never knowing if I will come home looking like mommy or daddy at the end of the day but they’ll get used to it,” Jay admitted.

A moody Jay/Marie then asked, “Are we done here? This bra is killing me and I just want to get out of this thong and take a bubble bath. Good night.”

Author: E. Williams

Just a smart ass by nature who uses humor as a defense mechanism to get through this wonderfully confusing thing we call life. Trying to make people laugh is pretty cool. Succeeding at it is the very best! That's it. What more do you people want from me?!