Santa Barbara Killer’s Motive Baffles Eggheads, Know-It-All Professors

Santa Barbara, CA – As the country tries to make sense of the recent tragedy in California, the nation’s elite are always quick to point out the answers to those of us who aren’t nearly as smart as they are.

Elliott Rodger killed six people last week in southern California before taking his own life. He left behind a book of a manifesto giving a glimpse inside his deranged mind. From this manifesto, many a pundit and professor has come forward with their typical knee-jerk reactions to what caused the crime in the first place.

NYT’s Ann Hornyday came out swinging by blaming the overwhelming sexism in Hollywood movies – completely discounting Rodgers immersion in ultra-violent video games.

Brown University professor, Brittney Copper, claims the killing was the result of “white male privilege” – failing to admit that Rodger was half-Asian. Perhaps she’s half-stupid?

Other college professors have used this crime as another opportunity to call for gun bans across the country – failing to acknowledge that Rodger killed three people with a knife and injured numerous other people with his car.

When asked to comment, Hornyday said, “I hate men. What else am I supposed to say?” Copper said, “I hate white males. What else am I supposed to say?” The other professors said, “We hate guns. What else do you expect us to say?”

Mental illness, narcissism, and a myriad of other issues may have played a part in the crime as well but, you can bet, the nation’s professors will always be at the ready to blame their favorite cause anytime there is a senseless tragedy – before the bodies have even had a chance to reach room temperature.

We’re so lucky they’re smart enough to have all the answers before they even have all the facts.

Author: E. Williams

Just a smart ass by nature who uses humor as a defense mechanism to get through this wonderfully confusing thing we call life. Trying to make people laugh is pretty cool. Succeeding at it is the very best! That's it. What more do you people want from me?!