Leftists Look Forward to “Constructive Dialogue with Idiotic Trump Supporters”

WASHINGTON – “Trump is Putin’s bitch,” read several signs in the crowd.
A liberal umbrella group called the Coalition for an Integrated America (CIA) held a rally yesterday in Lafayette Square near the White House, protesting Donald Trump’s existence, and calling for his resignation.

Image attribution:
By Ida Tolgensbakk (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons

“The world just can’t survive another day of President Trump,” said one protester. “But we support his right to be Putin’s bitch and have gay sex with him.”

At the rally, Coalition spokesperson Liam Kennedy stated: “Non-communist liberals and progressives believe in true democracy and civilized civic discourse. Thus, we can never understand how Trump’s supporters─with their malnourished, uneducated brains─could ever have voted for him or continue to support his racist, fascist policies.”

One protester said: “Perhaps it would have been better for the world if the Trump supporters had been aborted by their mothers, rather than born at all. Trump supporters are the lowest species of scum to ever walk the earth. Peace y’all.”

Tomorrow, the Coalition for an Integrated America will meet at the DC Press Club with their arch-nemesis, the Conservative Institute of America (CIA), a conservative umbrella group, representing more than 300 social and political organizations.

Conservative Institute spokesman Nelson Rockefeller Dulles stated: “While it may be a waste of precious oxygen tomorrow to speak with these Cultural Marxist Libtards with their fancy degrees and their soy mocha lattes, conservatives always stay open minded about other ideas─even idiotic ideas such as such as Political Correctness, one of the most misguided attempts at communist social engineering ever conceived.”

Leftist Coalition spokesperson Kennedy replied: “Liberals’ tolerance and love for all humanity is well known, even to the troglodytic Trump supporters and their tiny, brainwashed brains. We look forward to a constructive dialogue with them. We will use small words so that maybe they will understand us. That’s what democracy is all about.”

Originally published on The Satirist.

Author: Dan Geddes

Dan Geddes is the author of The Satirist: America's Most Critical Book and the editor of the online journal The Satirist: America's Most Critical Journal (TheSatirist.com), an astonishing collection of satires, reviews, reviews of imaginary works, fiction, essays, poems, and satirical news. He lives in Amsterdam.