Trump Should Attack Russia to Take Heat off RussiaGate Scandal, Experts Say

WASHINGTON – Politicians and media pundits from both political perspectives have called on President Trump to attack Russia as soon as possible to prove once and for all that he is not colluding with Russia.

“The only way for Trump to prove that he isn’t colluding with Russia – is to attack them,” said former National Security Advisor, Dulles Minderbinder on CNN.

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“I hope Trump attacks Russia soon,” said Republican pundit Frank Hightower on FOX News. “That’s the best way for him to get past the recent unpleasantness of RussiaGate. Trump attacking Russia will also help distract the American public from the coming sexual harassment claims against Trump. It’s win/win. Trump should attack Russia soon in order to save his good name.”

“Attacking Russia is a great idea,” said CNN’s Wolf Blitzer. “Russia’s economy is booming. They are a real economic juggernaut. Their economy has just overtaken the Netherlands!”

“We can take Iran next,” averred Wolf Blitzer. “And then it’s on to China!”

Calls for improved relations with Russia were rejected by other CNN commentators as “appeasing Putin” or “just proving for all time that Trump is Putin’s bitch.”

“The American people want Trump to show Putin who is really the Alpha Male in their relationship, their curious bromance,” concluded Blitzer. “Attacking Russia is probably the best way to do it.”

Author: Dan Geddes

Dan Geddes is the author of The Satirist: America's Most Critical Book and the editor of the online journal The Satirist: America's Most Critical Journal (, an astonishing collection of satires, reviews, reviews of imaginary works, fiction, essays, poems, and satirical news. He lives in Amsterdam.