Author: BobZaguy
Microsoft Opens “E-Gates” On Mexico / US Border, Windows Unavailable
Laredo, TX – Returning from a recent business conference on immigration in Mexico City, Microsoft Chairman William Gates, the world’s richest man, flew over what will become the new “RioGrande BushWall” near Laredo, Texas. Having told reporters in Mexico earlier,…
Doomsday Clock Sold on eBay to Anonymous Bidder
CHICAGO, IL — Spendrift T. Hwart, science historian for the Doomsday Clock group, the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, held a press conference today to announce that it would move the hands of the clock from five to six minutes…
Hoekstra Sets Preemptive 2010 Yemeni Strike
Lansing, MI – Rep. Pete Hoekstra (R-Mich.) publicly stated his plans for the Michigan National Guard if he wins election as Governor in 2010: “I’ll lead a preemptive strike to Yemen. I’ve been leading on national security for the last…
Limbaugh. The Man. The Legend. A Hoax.
Art Kesselstatt –Cape Girardeau, MO quoted online: “You are a blessed man to have so many people praying for you Rush. I’m deeply saddened. You’re like part of the family. If it is time to go, it’s time to go….
Cell Phones For The Homeless
New York, NY – Since the cell phone market is maturing, where are the phone companies going to go to increase sales? The Homeless. Problem is there is no mail address to send the monthly bills, and prepaid only works…
Bekins Moving Into The Future
Chicago, IL – The Bekins folks are bound to make moving a snap for their customers this time, for sure. Compression is the new name of the moving game for this century-old company. Soon, the familiar semi-trailers will be parked…
Boehner and Bobdole Reveal 13-year Marriage
Washington DC —EBBQ Today the offices of John Boehner (Bay-ner) (R–OH) revealed that Senator Boehner and former Senator Bobdole (R–KS ret.) have maintained a secret same-sex marriage for the past 13 years. “In fact,” a Bobdole spokesperson said, “Bobdole did…
Nelson Tops Leiberman in “Race to #60”
WASHINGTON, DC — The Race to #60 is as old as the Senate. Only one person can claim the title in this rare event, as the party in power tries to work it so the race doesn’t happen. It becomes…
City Sued For Providing Free Drugs To Residents
Philadelphia, PA – Recently the Associated Press disclosed that the Environmental Protection Agency plans on collecting 1 million pills during an Earth Day initiative aimed at the people who live around the Great Lakes. They also stated that there is…
Woods Chasing Beck in Lost Sponsor Race
FOXNEWDS Studios–NYC. — In a little noticed scenario in the celeb sweeps the recent Tiger girls-rush-to-claim-sex-with-me-first media circus has caused another celeb, Glenn Beck, to amp up his offensive abilities. Beck is reported as hiring a brace of new writers…