Art Kesselstatt –Cape Girardeau, MO quoted online: “You are a blessed man to have so many people praying for you Rush. I’m deeply saddened. You’re like part of the family. If it is time to go, it’s time to go. I hope that is not the case, but it does not look good. I just put on a pot of coffee and will hold vigil.”
Here, a television satellite uplink truck is parked across the street from The Queen’s Medical Center in Honolulu. This is where conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh has a cot in the back during his Hawaiian golfing vacation this year.
On Thursday, Limbaugh was admitted to The Queen’s Medical Center after complaining of chest pains. He is vacationing at the Kahala Hotel and Resort but he’s really saving a couple bucks by sleeping in the uplink trailer across the street from The Queen’s. The national media has camped there as well, outside The Queen’s, waiting for updates on Limbaugh’s condition.
President Obama was alerted to the TV personality’s situation while golfing at a neighboring course. He abruptly left the course in his motorcade and followed the Limbaugh ambulance from the Kahala Resort to The Queen’s Medical Center, which as you know is just across the street from Rush’s real island vacation home. President Obama came up to the press assembled at the TV uplink trailer and said, “It’s nothing serious guys. Rush always wondered what a heart attack would be like. He said he really enjoyed the 20-minute ambulance ride – they drove from here out to the resort hotel and then back to The Queen’s. ‘Just like on TV’ were his words.”
Limbaugh said before the pre-press conference began that “I have been treated to the best health care here in The Queen’s Hotel. I had the best time ever. Don’t get me wrong, guys, but I did have a pain in my chest that I never experienced before. Wow. I sat down. Thought about it a bit here in the truck. Then I called security back at the hotel and they came over in an ambulance and took me to The Queen’s over there. One of the guards left his video cam at the resort, so we doubled back there, got his cam and then came back to The Queen’s Center. The least I could do for him, he’s a Dittohead.”
Robert Gibbs from the White House asked, “Rush, how long were you in The Queen’s Center?”
Rush shaded his eyes from the sun to see Gibbs, and said “I think I am going to buy this place and rename it something other than The Queen’s.” Then he continued, “I was only in there about 1/2 an hour before they had the pain down and gone. We don’t know why it was there at all. I swear, I was as surprised as the next guy that I would ever feel anything like heart pain. You know?”
Rush continued. “The doc did an angiogram and damned thing…not a bit of arterial damage, nothing showed up at all on the gram. You’ll hear her when we go in to start the real conference. She’s way serious about this heart stuff.
“She invited me to stay the night and hey, you can’t say no to these Islanders and their hospitality. I tell you I had the best time here in The Queen’s…gotta change that name. The staff threw a little cocktail party for me as soon as they got the results back. Clear sailing, I tell you, after a couple of Dr. Magno’s nice My-Tai-Tinis. Powerful stuff.”
Gibbs again with a question: “How has this changed your life, Rush?”
“Well it’s this way guys. I’ll be 59 in a couple of weeks. The big 6-oh is right around the corner. And I started thinking about these…these kinds of things. If you think your heart is missing, don’t mess with it. give it to professionals. You know? Don’t try to fix it by yourself. Don’t go borrowing any drugs from anyone. And certainly don’t take any drugs you’re not used to.”
Now he began to ramble a bit. “I’m not as invincible as I once thought I was,” he said. “It’s a blessing in disguise that it happened. I learned I have a real, healthy heart, with no damage. I am quite overcome with all prayers from everyone. It’s humbling even for me.”
He rambled some more, “It takes things like this in life maybe to prepare you for the …did I tell you that I got no special treatment here? Me, an f-ing millionaire – I almost got that team you know. The staff made my stay like a hotel. Dr. JoAna Magno, her nurses, made this stay a hotel.”
He got a little glassy eyed now, or it could have been the drugs. “I an thankful to be an American and have this happen to me. Most people here, it takes things like this to make them think about the shortness of life.”
Then he grinned that old snarly grin, and said “It makes you think, but not me. I have more golf to play. Let’s get this press conference over inside, I’ve got a tee-off with Barack to make.
“You guys aren’t going to remember any of this soft stuff, right?”