Day: November 17, 2009
America Goes to Pot: 1st Marijuana Cafe Opens
Portland, OR – The first public café offering medical marijuana in the United States opened in Portland, Oregon last Friday. Now instead of grits, you can get a side of real “hash” browns with those eggs. “What a great concept,”…
Halliburton And The Carrots, Holds the Sticks
Bogota, Columbia – In an unusual development in the strife-torn South American country of Columbia, the giant war machine known as Halliburton seems to be growing food. Over the past 6 months, on advice from a high-level undisclosed source, the…
Scholarship Program for the New York School Children
To paraphrase Aristotle, all people desire to know: who we are; how we know; how we should live. To Socrates, the health of the state depends on the knowledge and education of its individuals. To Thomas Jefferson, a democracy is…
Cosmetic Surgeons Head South at Y in the Road
According to research just published in the British Journal of Aesthetic Twatology the latest craze to displace the tanning parlour cult of looking like a darkie immigrant and contracting melanoma is undergoing surgery to create perfect vulval genitalia. No really,…
CIA Balanced Budget thanks to Low-Cost Uzbeki Torture
According to a scathing report published today in the International Daily, the CIA relied on military intelligence extracted from Jolly Jihadi Muslim prisoners by methods of torture at extraordinary rendition centres in Uzbekistan. Uz-beki-where? someone shouts from the depths of…