America Goes to Pot: 1st Marijuana Cafe Opens

Portland, OR – The first public café offering medical marijuana in the United States opened in Portland, Oregon last Friday. Now instead of grits, you can get a side of real “hash” browns with those eggs.

“What a great concept,” said one new customer. “After smoking a fattie, I just sit back and order anything from the menu, instead of having to run down the street to the local mini-mart for my munchies.”

Said another first-time patron, “Now I can get my Colombian two ways in the morning…coffee and well, you know.”

We’re willing to bet the pot roast is killer.

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Halliburton And The Carrots, Holds the Sticks

Bogota, Columbia – In an unusual development in the strife-torn South American country of Columbia, the giant war machine known as Halliburton seems to be growing food. Over the past 6 months, on advice from a high-level undisclosed source, the company has planted the equivalent of 2500 square miles of garden carrots to replace the growing of cocoa plants in conjunction with the US and Columbian governments’ drug replacement policies. Read more Halliburton And The Carrots, Holds the Sticks

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Scholarship Program for the New York School Children

To paraphrase Aristotle, all people desire to know: who we are; how we know; how we should live. To Socrates, the health of the state depends on the knowledge and education of its individuals. To Thomas Jefferson, a democracy is only valid and meaningful if our citizens are educated, well-informed, and qualified to make enlightened decisions. Another word, to substantiate a democracy, to raise the health and wealth of a nation and to fulfill an individual’s happiness and his or her inborn curiosity, a good education system is the answer to all of them. Read more Scholarship Program for the New York School Children

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CIA Balanced Budget thanks to Low-Cost Uzbeki Torture

According to a scathing report published today in the International Daily, the CIA relied on military intelligence extracted from Jolly Jihadi Muslim prisoners by methods of torture at extraordinary rendition centres in Uzbekistan.

Uz-beki-where? someone shouts from the depths of cyberspace. Read more CIA Balanced Budget thanks to Low-Cost Uzbeki Torture

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