Posted in News In Your Briefs

America Goes to Pot: 1st Marijuana Cafe Opens

Portland, OR – The first public café offering medical marijuana in the United States opened in Portland, Oregon last Friday. Now instead of grits, you can get a side of real “hash” browns with those eggs. “What a great concept,”…

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Posted in Biz News War Zone

Halliburton And The Carrots, Holds the Sticks

Bogota, Columbia – In an unusual development in the strife-torn South American country of Columbia, the giant war machine known as Halliburton seems to be growing food. Over the past 6 months, on advice from a high-level undisclosed source, the…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

Scholarship Program for the New York School Children

To paraphrase Aristotle, all people desire to know: who we are; how we know; how we should live. To Socrates, the health of the state depends on the knowledge and education of its individuals. To Thomas Jefferson, a democracy is…

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Posted in Health Human Interest

Cosmetic Surgeons Head South at Y in the Road

According to research just published in the British Journal of Aesthetic Twatology the latest craze to displace the tanning parlour cult of looking like a darkie immigrant and contracting melanoma is undergoing surgery to create perfect vulval genitalia. No really,…

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Posted in Politics War Zone

CIA Balanced Budget thanks to Low-Cost Uzbeki Torture

According to a scathing report published today in the International Daily, the CIA relied on military intelligence extracted from Jolly Jihadi Muslim prisoners by methods of torture at extraordinary rendition centres in Uzbekistan. Uz-beki-where? someone shouts from the depths of…

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