114
Sign on White House door:
Gone fission.
Be back tomorrow,
if there is a tomorrow.
115
Definition of nuclear retaliation —
the morning after pill.
Guaranteed to prevent pregnancy.
Every pregnancy.
116
“It’s falling! It’s falling!”
“What?” asked Trump. “What’s falling!”
“The sky is falling.”
“Well, that’s a relief.
I thought you meant the stock market.”
117
Trump is the right person to serve as Commander-in-Chief
in this time of crisis.
From his experience with escorts and porn stars
he’s well qualified to deal with
nuclear whore.
118
Reassuring wis-dumb from Trump:
To avoid Armageddon —
Keep a well-stocked spice chest.
Never run out of thyme.
119
Message from Iran about Trump —
Iya told you so.
120
Reassuring wis-dumb from Trump:
To avoid Armageddon —
Keep a well-stocked spice chest.
Never run out of thyme.
121
Thanks to advancing technology,
I can now get the news immediately,
and watch it screaming.
122
The Trumpite went to court
petitioning to leave the human race.
He didn’t mind being called a racist,
but he didn’t want to be known as
a homo
sapien.
123
What is the bridge player’s favorite bid?
For No Trump
124
Trump promises —
“After dealing with imminent threats
from Iran
and Iraq,
we will go after their neighbors — Iphone
and Iamanidiot.”
125
“Embassy?” asked Trump.
“You say I said MBC?
That’s fake news.
What I said before was a brain fart,
a misfake.”
126
News flash!
A chorus line of Trump escorts and mistresses
plan to dance in front of the Capitol to help his cause
by diverting attention from the impeachment trial.
They call themselves the “Trumpettes.”
127
Trump wears a toupee
because he believes
apparent hair
makes him the hair apparent
to the throne of America.
128
Trump is bullish by nature.
He writes with a bull pen,
and concludes each message with a BS.
129
Trump knows the future.
As a pathological liar,
he is, by nature,
a sooth slayer
130
Trump has applied for membership in the American Medical Association
on the grounds that he is
a hypocritical oaf.
131
The tenth muse,
the muse of impeachment
has come out of hyding,
with a mountain of evidence,
Lev Parnas-sus.
132
Trump’s new theme song —
The Last Time I saw Parnas.
133
On the avenue,
Fifth Avenue,
the president will shoot you,
and you’ll find that you’re
bleeding out in a sewer.
134
Trump built a tower on Fifth Avenue
so he could plead the Fifth.
135
Trump is a constitutional expert —
He takes a constitutional every morning.
136
First uniforms for Trump’s Space Force are camouflage.
Makes sense so they’ll blend in with the plants on the other plantets of the solar system.
137
Trump was delighted when
the New York Times and Washington Post got dirt on him.
That meant he would never be washed up.
138
When Trump is confused
by impreachment,
sub penises,
and testes money,
he takes comfort no-ing
that as Precedent of the United Mistakes
he is above all raisin and flaws.
139
Trump is growing a beard,
so he can no longer be called
a bald-faced liar.
140
The heart was nominated to run for President
because of her strong and steady pulse —
beat Trump, beat Trump, beat Trump.
141
Have faith,
the invertebrate Senate Republicans
will eventually develop spines,
at which point they will have evolved
to the level of snakes.
142
Third article of impeachment —
Trump is an enema of the people.
143
The Dershy Bar
is an insult to both
chocolate and
the rule of law.
144
Instead of a sitting president,
we need one that’s upstanding,
and precedential.
145
When Trumpity Dumpity sat on a wal
and Trumpity Dumpity had a great fall,
why couldn’t all the king’s lawyers
and all the king’s eunuchs
put him together again?
He wasn’t a king