Tag Archive | "patriotism"

Gone But Not Forgotten! John Kerry Meme Tribute


 The High Sultan of Flip-Flop will soon shuffle mournfully off the political scene. But let’s remember some of the highlights of John Kerry’s career.

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America Still Greatest Democracy in the World – CNN Poll


ATLANTA – A recent CNN poll of American citizens found that a solid majority (92%) believes that “the United States of America is still the greatest democracy in the world.”

Most poll respondents were clearly favorable toward American democracy. Their comments included:

“We’re definitely number 1.”

“We are the greatest country on earth. No question about it.”

“America is the greatest country I’ve ever seen.”

“Other countries just suck. Except Israel.”

“Even if other countries are better, we are still the greatest.”

“You mean: there are other countries?”

“America can kick the shit out of any other countries’ democracies. They’re just losers.”

“USA! USA!”

Most would agree. However, a few marginal critics of American democracy, such as Michael Moore, believe that exit poll deviations from official results prove that American elections are sometimes fraudulent. Moore has even called for UN supervision of US elections.

Yet the CNN poll showed that 66.6% also agreed with the statement: “Exit polls are an insult to American democracy and a total waste of time.”

American Exceptionalism Explained

So just how did America come to create a better democracy than in all other countries on the planet? Read the full story

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Speak English or Go Home, This is ‘Merica (comic)


The turbo-patriots like to cling to some notion of America than never was, like saying we’re a Christian nation (we aren’t,) or that English should be our national language (it shouldn’t.)

If you really want to lavish your founders with undue and absurd praise, I’ll take it back a tad further. The Western world was discovered by none other than the small-earct navigator Christopher Columbus, to his tremendous luck.

Had math been as right as it was, which is was, he’d have starved to death in the Atlantic… but no, turns out there’s land there. Read the full story

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Posted in Comics, PoliticsComments (3)

Rush Limbaugh Voted Most Respected American


The Legitimate Society of Respected Americans has come out with their new survey, and the results are not surprising; Rush Limbaugh voted Most Respected American.

Beating out Abe Lincoln, Maya Angelou and Rick Steves, successful radio journalist Rush Limbaugh easily topped the charts with respondents describing him as noble, selfless, handsome and “of a healthy, patriotic American weight”. Read the full story

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (2)

New Planet Discovered; Patriotic Americans Worry about Jobs


Scientists are still excited over the discovery of a habitable planet orbiting the nearby red dwarf star, Gliese 581. However, the discovery has many Americans wondering what the government plans to do in the event of an alien invasion.

“We got unemployment at ten percent and government spending is out of control,” said Edward Cracker, a tea party activist from Illinois. “How can we financially support a bunch of anal probing aliens?” Read the full story

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Glenn Beck Credits Himself for Predicting Recent Wave of Violence


Pahrump, NV In one of his many “I told you so” moments, Glenn Beck has commented that he is the first one to tell his viewers that violence against the US government by fed up citizens was going to start to happen.

Boasting a 100% accuracy rate, Beck claimed that he is a hundred times better at predicting things than any psychic. “For years, I’ve been telling my viewers how fed up they are and how screwed they should feel, and now, after this past election, how I thought things were going to get ugly. Read the full story

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Labour Candidate Calls Queen ‘Vermin in Ermin’


One of PM Gordon Brown’s brain-dead New Labour election candidates may be sacked before he even gets a job following the instance of his calamitous faux pas of publicly declaring the Queen to be a “parasite” and “vermin scum” on a Tory-owned website.

Jacko McScrunt, who is seeking election to Slumgutter Hamlets Borough Council in South London next May, wrote the comments on Tory MP Dinsdale Fuctifino’s Facebook page. Read the full story

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Posted in PoliticsComments (0)

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