Search Results for: donald trump
President Trump, the Results of Your Psych Eval Are In. We Need to Talk.
Dear President Trump, My name is Dr. Nathan Feingold. I’m Head of Psychiatry at Johns Hopkins Medical Center. Recently, you received a court order to submit to a battery of psychological tests due to widespread concerns by members of your…
(Meme): A Lesson from the Donald
THIS IS NOT AN UNPATRIOTIC MEME THIS IS NOT AN UNPATRIOTIC MEME THIS IS NOT AN UNPATRIOTIC MEME THIS IS NOT AN UNPATRIOTIC MEME THIS IS NOT AN UNPATRIOTIC MEME
Following Weed Legalization, Trump Tries to Cede Maine to Canada – Trudeau Confounded
President-select Donald Trump, in a presidential huff of not-my-jobbery, quickly fled to Mar-a-Lago in Florida, as the right to consume recreational Marijuana was heating up in the King Lobster State of Maine. “I think it’s important for states to decide…
CNN to Issue Trigger Warnings before Trump Appearances
NEW YORK – CNN today announced its new policy of issuing trigger warnings before showing the face of President Donald Trump to viewing audiences.
Totalitarian Tenets to be Tenaciously Tendered via Trump Tweet
‘Orwellian Obedience is Ordered to be Ordinarily Observed,’ says first Tenet via Trump Tweet. “We’re going to win so much, you’ll get sick of winning,” begins a statement released today by Kellyanne Conway, Donald Trump’s transition team spokesperson and former…
CIA Digs up Dirt on President Trump, Forms New Planet
Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.–In response to President-elect Donald Trump’s denigrating the American intelligence community, the CIA dug up a planet of dirt on Trump, altering the Earth’s gravitational field. The American intelligence community was united in its assessment that Russia hacked…
President Trump Confined to White House, Refusing to Take Revolving Door
Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.–After much legal wrangling, President-elect Donald Trump and his children, Ivanka, Eric and Donald Jr. divested themselves of their holdings in the Trump Organization and in Trump’s dozens of other companies so that they could carry out their…
Trump Shakes Things Up with Bold Cabinet Appointments
Donald Trump has wasted no time putting his signature on his new administration. In what some critics are calling a scarily bad case of Opposite Day, President-Elect Trump so far has chosen an Education Secretary who has never held any…
Five Ways a Trump Presidency is Like Gilligan’s Island
Let me just say Richard Condon was wrong. The Manchurian Candidate is from Moscow and he ain’t brainwashed. Nothing about the recent election would make for a decently plausible political thriller or even proper parody. I know truth is stranger…
A Message For Trump’s Minions Worded In The Vernacular You Understand Best
In a bow to our supposed new President I submit this missive attempting to recreate the style of communicating that he does best in order to express myself properly to those who elected him. This letter, this message, this fatal…