Category: Sports
Tiger Woods Dropped By Gatorade – Threatens To Leave U.S.
BARRINGTON, IL (GlossyNews) –Tiger Woods has threatened to leave the United States if Gatorade’s decision makers do not bend over backward, swallow their pride and reinstate their sponsorship. Sources close to Woods confirmed that the troubled golfer will leave the…
Winter Olympics Surprisingly Teach Americans Geography
The Winter Olympics in Vancouver have obviously taught us all some important lessons about bobsled safety and 40 million dollar opening ceremonies. However, some Americans are learning more than they ever expected from the Olympic coverage. Americans, globally renowned for…
Bowling Scandal Diverts Negative Attention from Tiger Woods
CHEYENNE, WY – Still recovering from the Tiger Woods scandal, the sports world finds itself mired in yet another public spectacle. Three-time PBA tour champion Slim “Fats” Fettwanst is suing Lurlene Jenks, owner of the “Preemptive Strikes” 32-lane bowling alley…
Tiger Woods No Longer Wants Sex
Number One golfer Tiger Woods, and the doctors treating him for sex addiction, claim he has made a complete recovery and no longer has any desire for sex at all. Woods admitted himself into a sex rehab center in Hattiesburg,…
Former Singer/Drug Addict Bobby Brown Wins X-Games 14 Snowboarding Medal
ASPEN, Colorado — R&B sensation Bobby Brown left a successful stint with New Edition in 1987 to pursue a solo career, which garnered him a string of Top 10 Billboard hits and a Grammy Award. But Brown’s increasingly bizarre behavior…
Tiger Woods Converts to Mormonism, Declares 2nd Wife – Seeking More?
Salt Lake City, UT – Thurl Bailey step aside, the LDS Church will soon have a new spokesmodel. In a bizarre turn of events yesterday morning, LDS Church elders in Salt Lake City announced that Tiger Woods has decided to…
2010 Winter Olympics — Sold Out to the Highest Bidder?
This scene was captured by one of our authors last week, but we can’t publish it under her name because she was subsequently disqualified for using performance enhancing substances. We will still publish it, but we can’t give her credit,…
All White-All American Sports Venues Outlaw Ethnic Snacks
With the advent of all white, American-only teams in the near future, many sports venues have followed suit by removing any snacks that originated in any country other than America. That means, hamburgers, originally from Hamburg, Germany and hot dogs,…
NBA Hard Pressed To Find Player To Hawk New Condom Line
The National Basketball Association has just introduced its latest merchandising scam, …er…, product line – assorted condoms denoting all the professional American basketball teams. Each condom is colored with a team logo. “With these babies you can really tell if…
U. Alabama Alums Seek Nickname Change from ‘Bama to ‘Bamma
A Petition has been circulating among Alumni of the University of Alabama to change the popular ‘Bama nickname to ‘Bamma due to conflicts that are arising from having a President named Obama. The reason for this requested change, as set…