Category: Strange People
Thurmond Tried to Swap MLK Day for Stonewall Jackson Day
Legendary confederate statesman Strom Thurmond one time tried to trade away a holiday to celebrate the life of Civil Rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King Jr in exchange for a national day honoring Confederate General Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson, who was…
Dick Cheney Blasts Americans for Letting Terrorists Win
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Former Vice President Dick Cheney blamed Americans yesterday for “being in bed with” terrorists. “The people of this nation are as much to blame as their pusillanimous, light-skinned president for delivering the head of democracy to the…
Alaskan Villagers Purposely ‘Being Bad’ To Get Coal From Santa
Point Barrow, AK (GlossyNews) — Residents of the Arctic town of Sealgut Alaska have resorted to extreme means to get their heating fuel supplies for this winter. Faced by two months of near total darkness and bone-chilling cold with little…
25yr Coma Man Wakes, Stunned to Learn of Black President
Ozark, Alabama – Jeff Stills was a successful crop farmer from the lower state of Alabama that was raised on a farm he would soon call his own. Unfortunately on the night of April 6th 1984 he flipped his General…
Crematorium Imposes Fatties Ban
The relatives of a 40-stone (254 kg) man from Scumerset informed a reporter for the Mass Graves Gazette that the undertaker had advised them the deceased’s body was too heavy for cremation. Frank McGrunt, a 95-year old former meat pie…
Sippin’ Whiskey – Okay – but Sippin’ Beer?
A controversial Scottish brewery has launched what it described as the world’s strongest beer – with a 32% alcohol content. Tactical Nuclear Penguin – with a radioactive half-life of several centuries – has been unveiled by SpewDog of Twatborough.
Devout Jewish Fan Boys Prepare for 19th Annual Yarmulk-Con
New York, NY — Beginning next week, scores of religiously fervent Jewish males will descend upon the Jacob Javits Center to participate in the highly anticipated 19th annual Yarmulk-Con. The registered attendees have spent months on the Internet generating buzz…
New York Man Guilty of Dying Without License
New York City, NY (GlossyNews): A New York man was held without bail today on charges of dying without a license. Arresting office, and legendary Parking Meter Compliance Enforcement Specialist Miami Fickle, told the Court in sworn testimony, “I knew…
PA Prudes Ignore Carbon Footprint
Wanksie, Pennsylvania (Dingbat News) – Chlamydia Muffrot, a 94-year old grandmother, was tasered and handcuffed, then charged with ‘domestic terrorism’ by brain-dead Homeland Security goons for pegging out her laundry on a clothesline strung between trees outside her 18th Century…
Not Guilty – by Reason of Being Asleep
A husband who killed his wife by strangling her while he was purportedly asleep and dreaming about fighting off a gang of burglaring scally yobs who broke into his camper van to steal the latest version of the X-Box video…