Category: Human Interest
Previously Ignored Nostradamus Prediction Re-examined
Cologne, Germany (GlossyNews) Glossy News Headquarters, Europe — The following document was retrieved from the ‘Reject’ files in the Glossy News Interchange in Cologne, Germany. Upon retrospect it offers interesting insights into our present political life in the US: Unusual…
GOD: HUMANITY CURSED BECAUSE OF PACT MADE WITH PAT ROBERTSON
THE HEAVENS – In a rare public announcement, God Himself admitted today that Pat Robertson, who by all rights should have choked to death long ago on his own venomous rhetoric, continues to exist at His whim as an object…
Did SeaWorld Trainer Dawn Brancheau Commit Suicide?
ORLANDO, FL – As SeaWorld prepares to reintroduce its “Dancing with Killer Whales” program this weekend, rumors have begun rising, like tiny bubbles of blood to the surface of the water, regarding the mind set of orca trainer Dawn Brancheau,…
Kevin Smith Made to Purchase Two Seats at Sushi Bar
LOS ANGELES – The next time Kevin Smith visits If It Smells Like Fish, his favorite sushi bar in L.A., he will have to purchase two seats. According to a source close to Mr. Smith—or as close to him as…
PETA Wants Tilikum the Killer Whale Tried As a Dolphin
NORFOLK, Vir. – PETA has served notice to SeaWorld attorneys that it plans to file an amicus Delphinidae brief in a Florida district court on behalf of Tilikum, the so-called “killer whale,” who is suspected of drowning one of his…
Man Living with Parents Mauled to Death by Cougar
OTTAWA, ON – After winning a lengthy legal battle for the right to keep exotic cougars on his property in rural Ontario, Buford Starwarrior was mauled to death by a 125-pound animal. Starwarrior, a 26-year-old shut-in and aspiring comic book…
Adopt A Highway, Get An Orphan Free
Too many unadopted Georgia Highways, too many Georgia orphans. Answer? Combine the two. At least that’s the thinking of the state legislature here in the Peach State. “We literally have miles and miles of unadopted highways in this state,” says…
Ancient New England Dialect Extinct After Last Speaker Dies
BOSTON, Massachusetts — One of the country’s oldest dialects, which traces its origins to before the American Revolution, has become extinct after the last person to speak it died. Winthrop Quincy Endicott Lowell VI, the last surviving heir to the…
How California Grown Ups Play Cops and Robbers
After not being allowed into a California Pizza Restaurant one morning earlier this month, about 100 members of the OpenCarry Movement went to another restaurant in Walnut Creek, CA to show their fire power in full force, except of course,…
Hollister Co. Sues Hollister, CA For Existing
HOLLISTER, CA — A group of British executives representing 11 Hollister Co. stores in the United Kingdom suffered through a horrific 48-hour ordeal when they accidentally traveled to Hollister, California, mistaking it for the origin of the eponymous clothing brand.