Category: Technology
Bekins Moving Into The Future
Chicago, IL – The Bekins folks are bound to make moving a snap for their customers this time, for sure. Compression is the new name of the moving game for this century-old company. Soon, the familiar semi-trailers will be parked…
Obama Vows to Investigate Alarming Rise in GPS Malfunctions
President Barack Obama announced yesterday that he would ask the Department of Homeland Security to investigate an alarming rise in GPS malfunctions. Although he stopped short of suggesting a link between terrorists and the rash of travelers who wound up…
French Court Labels Monsanto ‘Serial Liars’, Weeds Uninjured
The Conseil d’Etat, France’s highest court, has ruled that U.S. agrogarchy bully-corp Monsanto has been lying through its proverbial teeth concerning the safety record of the best-selling weed-killer, Phuck_Up. The court confirmed an earlier judgment that Monsanto had falsely advertised…
Breach in Time/Space Continuum Opens Portal to all 9 Circles of Hell, CERN Not Involved
Man recently donned the cloak of Creator and assumed the role of God. His manipulation of ORMEs, the esoteric sciences and applied quantum technologies saw Thomas Moore’s dream bastion of perfection a reality manifested. Utopia Inc., the next best thing…
Middle Kingdom (China) Makes Green Energy 1st, Holds the Lead
Chinese car maker BWB today announced it is about to release a prototype electric vehicle capable of revolutionizing the world of motoring. Senior BWB (Big Wheel Barrow) design engineer Dr. Flip Flop Fong – the man responsible for power steering…
Fruitcake—Alternative Fuel Source?
Bentonville, AR – A former Walmart employee and part-time nutty professor has begun research into alternative uses for the millions of fruitcakes that are returned every December 26th to Walmart. Speaking from the garage of his home on Vista Drive…
Bigwigs Hit by Wickedpedia Attacks
Did David Cameron’s father buy him the Conservative Party? No, he only bought him a 51% majority share. Has Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg slept with 3,000 women? Absolutely not – it’s more like 2,350 women, 522 men, and a…
Miliband the Millipede Promises Green Jobs For All
One of Britain’s biggest employers in the green energy industry is to cease production within hours of a paradoxical government announcement today pledging as many as 400,000 green jobs by 2015.
Frivolous Academic ‘Cheese Butty’ Research Hit
The New Labour government’s Ministry for Wasting Time & Money has come under attack from the Tories – yet again – for commissioning academic research into such insane project studies as how to make the perfect cheese toastie sandwich –…
EU Big Brother to Microchip All UK Pets
Now even dogs and cats – and likewise all British household pets – from the cuddly furry to the feathery plumaged to piscine and reptilian scaly – cannot escape the clutches of the Orwellian surveillance state. Under EU plans being…