Archive | Talky Pictures

Mubarak ‘Mummy Movie’ Planned for 2013

Mubarak ‘Mummy Movie’ Planned for 2013

Famed Egyptian director, Khairy Beshara, has announced his plan to film a number of features about an undead Hosni Mubarak who wreaks havoc on his countrymen.  The first in the horror series will be Curse of Mubarak The Mummy: A New Arab Awakening.

“I got the idea while I was staring into Mubarak’s cage: What will happen if he dies during his trial? There will be no justice,” says Beshara, who promises justice will be served in full force in the movies. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Entertainment, Talky Pictures4 Comments

Arizona Shooter Cast as Uncle Fester in Franchise Reboot

Arizona Shooter Cast as Uncle Fester in Franchise Reboot

Although the criminal case against accused gunman, Jared Lee Loughner, is just beginning, one thing is for certain, he’s going to prison. And if the administrators over at the infamous Supermax facility in Fremont County, Colorado have anything to say about it, he’ll be doing his time with them, where sources say he’s already being considered for a part in their prison production of The Addams Family musical. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Crime, Talky Pictures0 Comments

Sundance Darling Catfish Thrilling, Suspenseful, and an Obvious Hoax

Sundance Darling Catfish Thrilling, Suspenseful, and an Obvious Hoax

The 2010 surprise Sundance hit was a film called Catfish, a tale of an internet relationship gone horrible sideways. Apparently the name “Sideways” was already taken, and since the producers didn’t want to just declare it an outright hoax, they named it after a bottom-feeder, since that ugly moniker was somehow also perfectly fitting.

So it’s a good film, and one worth watching… did I get that out of the way? Okay good. Now here’s the rest of the story… Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Talky Pictures2 Comments

Linday Lohan Denies Stalking Sam Ronson, Does Anyway

Linday Lohan Denies Stalking Sam Ronson, Does Anyway

Venice Beach, CA – GlossyNews.com: Lindsay Lohan may have kicked the drug habit, but it seems ex-girlfriend DJ Sam Ronson is too powerful to quit. It’s being reported that, fresh from rehab, she’s out jonesing for more of that mysterious Ronson love, as she’s moved right in to the Malibu house next door to hers.

Lindsay Lohan, famous for being infamous, is rumored to at one time have been a child actor, starring in films like “Herbie, Fully Loaded,” “Freaky Friday”, and that one about the jewel thief, I think. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Talky Pictures0 Comments

Critic Pans ‘True Grit’, Deported for Failure to Show Long-Form Birth Certificate

Critic Pans ‘True Grit’, Deported for Failure to Show Long-Form Birth Certificate

This normally quiet Midwestern town has been shaken to its foundation in recent days, due to the shocking news of a traitor at work among its peaceful, tree lined streets.

At issue is Ms. Wanda Carlson’s latest writing in the Tri-City Dispatch. In her usually well received ‘Pass the Popcorn’ column Carlson began, “Me and Harv went to see that ‘True Grit’ thing and I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s just a competent remake of a formulaic Western.” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Talky Pictures2 Comments

Pete Postlethwaite Takes Final Bow

Pete Postlethwaite Takes Final Bow

If you’ve ever seen a movie, then you’ve seen the late, great Pete Postlethwaite. It was announced today that curtains have finally been called on the greatest performance of his life – that of his life itself.

Postlethwaite had been battling cancer of an as yet undisclosed type when he quietly died in his bed. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Talky Pictures2 Comments

Marvel Superheroes Humiliated By Disney Domination

Marvel Superheroes Humiliated By Disney Domination

Since it bought out the new, hot running Marvel Comic Movie Studio responsible for such blockbuster hits as Spider-Man, Iron Man and the X Men series, Disney Corporation has begun to institute major changes into the Marvel superheroes to bring them into the ‘Disneyesque’ way of doing things.

Too used to exaggerated violence, slinky sexy costumes and weird, non-earthly enemies, the superheroes were having a hard time conforming to the Disney way of doing things. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Biz News, Talky Pictures1 Comment

‘The Dick’ Cheney Gets Starring Role In ‘Dr. Strangelove’ Remake

‘The Dick’ Cheney Gets Starring Role In ‘Dr. Strangelove’ Remake

Dick Cheney returns to the worlds spotlight this week as he appears in his first movie part–reprising the unforgettable Peter Sellers role of Dr. Strangelove in the remake of the Stanley Kubrik movie of the same name.

Sellers made cinematic history as the wheelchair-bound, ex-Nazi atomic physicist who has a problem trying to keep his right hand from making the famous “Heil Hitler” salute. Cheney, considered a natural for the role, is reported to have needed few acting lessons to ‘become’ Strangelove. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics, Talky Pictures52 Comments

“Seven Brides For Seven Brothers” to be Remade… Seven Times

“Seven Brides For Seven Brothers” to be Remade… Seven Times

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. (Glossy News) — The rights for the 1954 movie Seven Brides for Seven Brothers , long ago lost, have fallen into Public Domain. As such, it can be remade or have its title used by anyone without having to pay any royalties to the original writer or production company. Seven different film producers are scrambling to see that their movie is the first to hit the big screen.

The original movie tells the story of the Pontipee brothers, who kidnap a group of girls to become their wives. As they live in backwoods Oregon in the 1850’s, and an avalanche traps them on their farm on the other side of a mountain range, the girls cannot be rescued and fall in love with their kidnappers before their fathers get to them. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Talky Pictures2 Comments

Cheney, Inspired By “Iron Man”, Reinvents As Superhero (or Villian, Depending)

Cheney, Inspired By “Iron Man”, Reinvents As Superhero (or Villian, Depending)

Inspired by the success and the popularity of Marvel Comics ‘Iron Man’ movie series, Dick Cheney has decided to use the millions he gathered during his tenure as the head of Halliburton and as the shadow head of the United States of America to reinvent himself as a new superhero- Oil Man.

Tired of being seen as just another greedy bastard who could do whatever he wanted he now wanted to be another greedy bastard with super powers who could do whatever he wanted. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Talky Pictures1 Comment

Unproduced Film Hailed as Chris Nolan’s Biggest Hit Yet

Unproduced Film Hailed as Chris Nolan’s Biggest Hit Yet

LOS ANGELES, California – After acheiving Blockbuster success with his film “Inception,” writer/director Christopher Nolan has done it again.  Critics and fans are already hailing his new film as the greatest ever made.  It has already made many critics favorites lists this year and is even ranked #1 on IMDB’s Top 250.

“It’s incredible that one filmmaker can have so much talent,” said online film reviewer Craig Mitchell. “Finally a reason to go to the movies.” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Talky Pictures5 Comments

Glenn Beck, Charles Manson Powwow on How to Start a Race War

Glenn Beck, Charles Manson Powwow on How to Start a Race War

Witnesses claim a shadowy figure identified as Fox News agitator, professional racist, Tea Party provocateur and self-anointed Godsend, Glenn Beck, was seen moving in and out of the visitation chambers of Corcoran State Prison recently. The target of his attention? None other than 75 year old serial killer and 60’s counterculture hero Charles Manson, or “Ol’ Koo Koo” as he is affectionately known by other inmates. Tawdry Soup was lucky enough to get an exclusive interview with the time-stopping psychedelic psycho to find out, “What’s Up?” It went like this: Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics, Talky Pictures1 Comment

Page 7 of 9« First...56789
Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Podcast


(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)


More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

DHgate.com



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial