Author: P. Beckert
Virgin Mary Image Appears in Mex Meth Lab
Unconfirmed reports out of Mexico are claiming that a stain on a bench in a meth lab located in the small town of Arre Pentido bears a striking resemblance to the Virgin Mary. Villagers from all around have flocked to…
Satirist Finds Fame by Hiding Numerical Code in Works
A satirist has amassed a large following after John Halpern from Okracoke Island, NC won over $1.3 million in the state lottery by cracking the numerical code hidden in an article written by Dominic Benjamin entitled “Octomoms Claim Numbers Don’t…
Supreme Court Ruling Says Bailout Money Can Buy Political Ads
The major television stations, i.e. Fox, CBS, NBC and ABC have all announced plans to drastically cut regular programming beginning in July of this year in order to make room for the onslaught of corporate-backed political advertising set to gain…
Health Alert: Defective, Dangerous, “Suspiciously Snug” Chinese Condoms Recalled
After reading this story, there will be true dilemmas playing out all over America–in bedrooms, on living room couches, in the back seat of daddy’s sedan or Tiger Woods’ Escalade—do I or don’t I take a chance with that pack…
All White-All American Sports Venues Outlaw Ethnic Snacks
With the advent of all white, American-only teams in the near future, many sports venues have followed suit by removing any snacks that originated in any country other than America. That means, hamburgers, originally from Hamburg, Germany and hot dogs,…
McDonald’s Introduces the McWineCooler
In a bid to remain the #1 burger chain in the world, McDonald’s has announced that it will start selling wine coolers at its South Beach locations in Miami beginning the middle of March, 2010, just in time for spring…
Miracle Water Diet Courtesy of Texas Spring Water Co.
Thirty-five years ago, you wouldn’t have been able to tell Joe P. Freely that he’d someday get rich selling bottled water, but today, it’s money that’s flowing from Freely’s diet spring water business in Big Spring, Texas. “Your Nation Natural…
Senator Introduces Bill to Name Feb 29 Barack Obama Day
In a move to recognize the strides America has made in electing its first African American to the highest public office in the land, Senator Shirley Wynott (D-Id) has introduced a bill that would make every February 29 “National Barack…
Kate Gosselin Pissed Over Having to Take Anger Management Classes
Sources close to Kate Gosselin have indicated that in addition to getting another ultra expensive new hairdo to up her chances of finding a new daddy for her kids, the newly divorced Ms. Gosselin is also being told by her…