Day: February 14, 2013
Intelligence Suggests France May Have a Military
Washington DC- Senior pentagon officials have released a statement where they have confirmed the long speculated existence of a French military. “We were just scanning Africa, you know, because we were bored,” says an off the record source. “And because…
Sources Close to Celebrity Sources Extremely Reliable, News Sources Say
According to a contact of ours that has a very, very close acquaintance that knows people who are “in the know”, those particular people always know what they’re talking about when they talk about things heard from actual friends of…
Scandal: Man Sneaks Extra Cookie From Jar
Local police and federal authorities are on high alert after a Purcellville, VA man was caught sneaking an extra cookie from his parents’ cookie jar. Dom Fall, 46, is believed to have made an approach on the cookie jar at…
Minnesota Misguidedly Manufactures Misleading Mexican Meals Making Millions Mad
I recently bought a burrito and was astounded to see that it was made in the fair city of Minneapolis, a surprise since I had always thought of Minneapolis as being a place so white that it’s nickname is ‘The…