According to a contact of ours that has a very, very close acquaintance that knows people who are “in the know”, those particular people always know what they’re talking about when they talk about things heard from actual friends of celebrities.

In other words, we have it on good authority that our source’s hearsay is authoritative. Our gossip is so good that we’ve been approached by OMG! and TMZ on a number of occasions to fill in the tiniest gaps on their usually solid stories.

If you haven’t heard, we were the ones who gave them these juicy bits:

-Lady Gaga to sue Ice Cream Limited for production of ice cream machine strap-on bra (called Malted Mammaries)

-Matt Damon takes a really big bite of his cheeseburger (at an Italian restaurant!)

-Hillary Duff and Lindsay Lohan to both star in new reality show Locked Up Broads

-Taylor Swift is planning to “Tonya Harding” Carrie Underwood at the Grammys

-Pop music to add an extra chord to its repertoire (possibly a sharp or a minor – we’ll keep you posted)

-Emma Watson can’t believe people hold her friend, Kristen, up to the impossible to attain “don’t cheat on your boyfriend standard” even after an entire year of being with him

-Demelmo (Demi and Elmo) finally went public with their private life together

Though these stories, due to their extreme popularity, almost led to a temporary shutdown of the internets, we will continue to share the best of what we’ve heard 4th hand about the interesting and exciting lives of other humans.