Day: January 2, 2013
Fat People Live Longer, Healthier Lives, According to New Research
It’s finally time to get off the treadmill and stuff down some pork sausage as researchers have determined that people who have at least 30% body fat live longer, healthier lives than their active, slim counterparts.
Luxembourg Annexes Germany
The European community is in shock following Luxembourg’s decision to deploy troops and annex the Federal Republic of Germany. According to preliminary reports, Luxembourger troops entered the province of North Rhine-Westphalia early Thursday morning and proceeded through Lower Saxony towards…
FBI Fears NRA’s Wayne LaPierre Fits Profile of Lone Gunman
Wayne LaPierre, notorious leader of the gun cult religion known as the NRA, is under investigation by the FBI as fitting the profile of the notorious ‘lone gunman’ so prevalent in modern American literature and films. His stoney faced demeanor,…