Report: Hard To Tell If Brooklyn Battered by Hurricane

NEW YORK CITY, NY – According to hundreds of eye-witnesses in New York Monday, the borough of Brooklyn “may or may not” have been affected by the onslaught of Hurricane Sandy, with one onlooker insisting: “it’s honestly hard to tell”.

Though it would appear that the area has been devastated by widespread flooding, people on the ground said that the destruction being seen in places such as Lower Manhattan was “perfectly normal” in places like Bushwick and Bed-Stuy. Read more Report: Hard To Tell If Brooklyn Battered by Hurricane

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Very Enterprising: Casket of Candy

With the economy in dire conditions entrepreneurs are looking to invest in recession proof businesses resulting in hundreds of coffin/candy shops springing up all over the country.

Often branded as the ‘place to bury a loved one and unearth a candy’, owner of the Coffin Candy Showrooms, Aaron Willis told Glossy News why his business is such a success:

“Well firstly it’s down to good management, a good team and excellent promotion. You have to get the advertising just right.” Read more Very Enterprising: Casket of Candy

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George Lucas Struggling to Spend 4 Additional Billion

George Lucas invented the Star Wars franchise, and with it, ushered in a new and previously unimagined era of movie merchandising. While he struggled to find ways to spend his first two billion dollars, he’s really at wits end now that he is saddled with four additional billion dollars.

Earlier this year the Disney Corporation purchased LucasFilms for $4.05 billion, and if you thought ol’ George had trouble burning through the first couple billion, his problems are now magnified by a factor of three. Read more George Lucas Struggling to Spend 4 Additional Billion

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Blockbuster Book Reveals Adolf Hitler’s Most Personal Moments

Berlin, Germany – (SatireWorld.com) Workers excavating a world war II bunker discovered a treasure trove of historical photos and secret documents.

Many are considered new and previously unseen and include personal photos of Adolf Hitler candidly taken by Ava Braun, his mistress.

For many years after the end of the war in 1945, rumors persisted that the Nazi leader farted openly for his sexual pleasure while bathing in a luxurious bathtub in the German Chancellery.

PHOTO INSERT: Corporal Belk claims Hitler once sunk a replica of the British battleship HMS Hood with a well-directed fart and quick light of a match. He downplayed rumors of any Jewish yellow rubber ducks being involved Read more Blockbuster Book Reveals Adolf Hitler’s Most Personal Moments

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