Tag Archive | "Turkey"

Obama Pardons Black Turkey: Bojangles will live to loot another day


Obama’s first Post Ferguson pardon occurred Thursday, and just like everything else the President does, the act has got him up to his neck in controversy.

As is tradition at the White House since 1947, the President pardoned a turkey, sparing the bird from the electric knife and the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Pardoning the turkey itself is not controversial, but the kind of turkey he pardoned has ruffled some people’s feathers. President Obama pardoned a black turkey. Read the full story

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Thanksgiving Found Battered, Beaten In Back Alley; Police Clueless


The holiday of Thanksgiving was found badly beaten in a back alley today. The holiday, which has been waning in power and influence in the last decade, is now virtually homeless and forgotten as it has been minimized by the more commercial, and thereby more powerful holidays that precede and follow it- Halloween and Christmas.

Police investigators, who put solving the crime low on their list of responsibility far below that of preventing shoplifting and protecting Christmas shopping crowds at American malls, say they cannot think of a motive or a suspect. This is despite local citizens finding an abundance of Black Friday and Grey Thursday fliers and posters strewn about the alley and the fingerprints of the CEO’s of Walmart, Target, the Gap and Old Navy on both the fliers and on Thanksgiving himself. Read the full story

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American Cities Allowing Pigeon Shoots for Poorest Families this Thanksgiving


Some cities hardest hit by the ever-worsening recession have come up with a way to kill two birds with one stone so to speak.

They are urging the poorest of their citizens to take aim at the over abundance of pigeons soiling the cities’ sidewalks and advising them to cook the birds in place of turkeys this year for Thanksgiving. Read the full story

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U.S. seeks to end flow of arms into Syria


In a statement that stunned observers, the U.S. Secretary of State, John Kerry announced during a visit to Iraq that it is asking its allies not to send arms and to prevent the flow of arms into Syria. The U.S. policy of not providing direct lethal aid to either side in the Syrian conflict is well known. However, it was widely assumed that the flow of arms from Turkey, Saudi Arabia, Qatar and other countries had U.S. blessing, particularly in view of the numbers of arms that the U.S. was sending to these countries, as well as U.S. training for Syrian rebels and U.S. intelligence on where best to kill people.

RIGHT: U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry offers advice to Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki and his government. (CLICK TO ENLARGE) Read the full story

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Famous Americans Share Thanksgiving Messages of Gratitude


Glossy News interviewed famous Americans this past week, asking them “What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving season?” Here is a holiday gift basket of inspirational messages from some of our nation’s most illustrious, America-loving Americans.

Ann Romney, wife of presidential hopeful, Mitt Romney: “I was very disappointed that Mitt lost the election, due to that fluke late October hurricane and the minor fact that Mitt’s not very good at relating to people with net worths under $25 million. But we still have so much to be grateful for. Read the full story

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Hillary Clinton: Flies (and Aircraft) Will Fly in No-Fly Zone


U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Turkish Foreign Minister Ahmet Davutoglu indicated in an August meeting with reporters that they were exploring the possible imposition of a no-fly zone over Syria.

Secretary Clinton was on an official visit to Turkey. I reached her by phone shortly after the meeting.

PHOTO: US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (L), Turkey’s President Abdullah Gul (C) and Foreign Minister Ahmet Davutoglu (R) (AFP) CLICK TO ENLARGE Read the full story

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U.S. House of Representatives Votes to Abolish Satire


The United States House of Representatives has recently conducted a bipartisan vote to abolish all forms of satire within the country in a move clearly designed to belie the widely held notion that Congress is the place where good ideas go to die. The following are transcripts from the subcommittee hearing and floor debate that led to the aforementioned vote. Read the full story

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Really Big Important News Story


Santiago, Chile (GlossyNews) — Posted by your new South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez.

In a Glossy News exclusive, Maria Lopez has learned there is a crazy conspiracy where Brazil, Turkey and Iran all want to get nuclear weapons. For those of you who don’t know, nuclear bombs are dangerous. Turkey and Iran signed a deal with Brazil, where something called Uranium will get enriched, and they all get bombs to drop on their neighbors.

—Hermana, that’s not what is going on. Lula da Silva is trying to carve out a neutral ground between the gringos and that crazy retro Neo-Marxist nativist bloc currently led by Chavez. Brazil has every right to assert itself on the world stage, and try to ease tensions— Read the full story

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