Category: Politics
Ringmaster Carney Helps Obama Turn Scandals into Circus Spectacular
In a colorful press conference held at the White House a few days ago, press secretary/circus master Jay Carney lived up to his last name as scandals piled up like elephants in a circus ring or clowns in a clown…
John Kerry Transfers into Mainframe to Destroy 3D-printed Gun Blueprints..
United States Department of State Secretary John Kerry joined with Deputy Secretaries William Joseph Burns and Thomas Nides in an effort to destroy the 3D gun blue prints released by DEFCAD, a site hosted by Defense Distributed. The State Department…
Obama responds to Benghazi controversy as 15 killed in blast
President Obama defended today his administration’s response to the Benghazi terror attack as a car bomb explosion killed several people near a Benghazi hospital. “Nobody understood exactly what was taking place during the course of those first few days” Obama…
Anti-Tax Crusaders Shocked IRS Would Question Them
Tea Party political activity groups, known for their hardline anti-tax position, were singled out by the IRS for scrutiny. “It’s crazy,” says anti-tax crusader and Wisconsin Tea Party head Colin Felcher. I can’t imagine a single reason why they’d think…
Slime looks forward to joining cesspool in U.S. House
The gelled waste that once held office as South Carolina Governor has been elected to the U.S. House of Representatives. The win marks a major political comeback for the slime, Mark Sanford, who resigned after an extramarital glop in 2009….
Chris Christie Kills Spider, Triggers Collapse of Western Civilization
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie unintentionally set forth a sequence of events that will ultimately lead to the fall of the United States government and all of Western civilization when he smashed a tiny spider last week. The spider, which…
White House Administration consults with Department of UAV secretary Ryan YQM-98A R-Tern
Following a previous filibuster of John Brennan’s nomination to be CIA director, the Obama White House is said to be having closed door meetings with Department of Unmanned Aerial Vehicles secretary and well known developmental reconnaissance drone Ryan YQM-98A R-Tern…
U.S. considers sending sympathy cards to Syria rebels
The White House is considering sending sympathy cards to Syrian rebels, officials said, but no arrangements have been made. A decision to supply sympathy cards would indicate a change in the Obama administration, which has resisted repeated requests to expand…
Shaking in Fear, Oil Covered Congress Presses Obama to Approve Keystone XL Pipeline
Covered in what appears to be various amounts of crude oil, Congress is increasing pressure on the Obama administration to approve work on the long-delayed Keystone XL oil sand pipeline. They argue that the pipeline, which plans to carry large…
Obama releases children’s book as ‘full legal basis’ for drone strikes
In response to House Democrats demanding that President Barack Obama release information on the White House Administration’s use of drone strikes, congress was sent a copy of “Our Friend Danny Drone,” a children’s book written by Obama. Inside sources have…