Category: Politics
CNN Knows What Happened to Missing Emails From Lois Lerner
Atlanta – CNN president, Jeff Zucker, has leaked information that shows the network is aware of what happened to two years of missing emails between embattled IRS operative, Lois Lerner, and various people in government, including the White House.
Jay Carney Addresses Sex Change Transformation Rumors
Washington – Outgoing 16 year-old White House press secretary, Jay Carney, has finally admitted his secret sex change transformation from a man to a woman is well underway and that hormone replacement therapy is ongoing. Carney, who originally had planned…
Hillary Clinton Reveals She Was Original Member of “The Beverly Hillbillies”
New York City – Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton came out of the poor house long enough today, on her current book tour, to confess to the world how hard her life has been. She and former President Clinton…
Former First Lady Hilary Clinton Admits She and Bill Were Homeless After the White House
In a shocking revelation, former First Ladt Hilary Clinton admits she and her husband were ‘homeless’ after leaving the White House. “We were trying to squeak by on Bill’s pension while trying to pay for Chelsea’s education and we just…
Support the Troops: US Troops to Be Quartered in Private Homes
WASHINGTON – The Obama Administration announced today its new policy of quartering US troops and domestic security agents in private residences “for the safety of the people in these dangerous times.” Known as “Support the Troops,” President Obama himself announced…
President Obama Orchestrates Worst Trade in History of Trades
Washington, D.C. – Most people consider the Boston Red Sox trade of future baseball god Babe Ruth for a cash loan to finance the No, No, Nanette musical to be the worst trade of all time. But No, No, Nanette,…
Door Hits Jay Carney 55 Times on the Way Out
Washington, D.C. – 16 year-old former White House Press Secretary, Jay Carney, is in the hospital for observation after being beaten up by a door as he left the press briefing room after announcing his resignation. Carney, who now plans…
The Five Stages of NSA Surveillance Grief
If the recent leaks about the US government’s surveillance of all worldwide electronic communications have left you upset or confused, then you may be experiencing one of the five stages of NSA surveillance grief. Much like Kuebler-Ross’ Five Stages of…
John Kerry Threatens to Beat the Shit Out Of Edward Snowden
US Secretary of State John Kerry asked government whistleblower Edward Snowden to return to the US so he can “personally beat the shit out of him.”
The Blame In Ukraine Lies Mainly in The Brain (of Putin)
Russian separatists in Ukraine, eager to show the world just how diplomatic and democratic they are in their newly taken over territory, smashed voting tables, threatened vote takers and surrounded the home of a man vocally in support of elections…