Tag Archive | "women"

Top 8 “Thwarted Knight” Excuses (1/2)


Everybody knows it’s REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HARD TO BE A MAN!!!

;(

And when you’re part of a tragically oppressed subaltern group like yours, there’s no shortage of excuses for justifying your perfectly noble and laudable addiction to telling women to quit telling men what we do wrong.

Still, here’s why you/we might think twice about using these old chestnuts in future… Read the full story

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Posted in Opinon/Editorial, SocietyComments (1)

New Study: Fat Bottomed Girls May Not ‘Make the Rockin’ World Go Round’ After All


Ithaca, NY – After years of tireless research at Cornell University, professors have released a study that brings into question the long-accepted fact the late great Freddie Mercury, from the rock band Queen, proclaimed to the world – Fat bottomed girls make the rockin’ world go round.

For decades, scientists went along with the wisdom that Mr. Mercury espoused in his song of the same name. But recently, many in the field of physics and astronomy have begun quietly questioning whether the lyrics are actually true in the real world or not. Read the full story

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Posted in MusicComments (6)

Wanted to Know How to Woo My Lady. Book Learnin’ Did Me Right


As long-time readers of Glossy News know, I’m a man of exquisite passion. So when I wanted to ratchet up the loving, I did what any man would do. I sipped some whiskey, yelled at my kids, and turned to the wisdom of books.

I didn’t have to look far to find something to fill this void in the parts of my life that so desperately crave the touch of my loving lady. I picked up “How High Should I Jump?” by R. Milton Quibner, HE.R.S, and I got my answers. Read the full story

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (3)

The ‘World’s Most Interesting Man’ Tells Why He Won’t Debate


Coast of Paraguay – (SatireWorld.com)

Fernando Monte Verde retired a number of years ago from a successful business career and at that time would have never believed he would one day be the envy of every male on the planet!

But today Fernando certainly is that man.

Fernando explains…”Two years ago, Dos Equis beer announced a world-wide search for the Most Interesting Man in the World. The requirements were simple. Read the full story

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Posted in Celebrity GossipComments (1)

Romney Plans to Live in Large Uterus Instead of White House


Toledo, OH – Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney unveiled his plan to move himself and his family into a “uterus of suitable size and structure” if elected president.

He made the announcement during a speech at a Toledo go-kart manufacturing plant.

When asked by a member of the media why he decided on this plan, Romney said, “You know, I’ve thought about this a lot and I figured the best way for me to control the medical decisions women make is for me to just move into their uteri. Read the full story

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Posted in PoliticsComments (3)

Men Hurt By Manly Media Portrayal


A recent survey has shown that men are becoming increasingly annoyed by the way they are being portrayed by the mainstream media.

The survey, carried out by the campaign group ‘Men Are Women Too,’ asked over 1,000 participating males how they would describe the men they saw on television, film, magazines and the internet.

The results are a clear indicator that men are not happy with the way men are represented. Read the full story

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Posted in SocietyComments (1)

Housewives Ruin Dinner and the Economy


Housewives forgetting vital ingredients for dinner are costing supermarket chains and the world economy billions of dollars every year. A new study released today has revealed a damaging portrayal of housewives and how they are single-handedly ruining the world economy. Read the full story

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On Board The Conquest with the Most Interesting Man in the World


Sunrise was still a few hours away and the sailing ship Conquest still had a bevy of topless and semi-nude young beauties aboard, though smartly covered up now against the cooling breeze blowing across Miami’s Biscayne Bay. The owner/captain Fernando Monte Verde took a few minutes to talk with Glossy News about living life as ‘The World’s Most Interesting Man.’ Read the full story

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Seattle Man Finds Dream Woman On Dating Website


SEATTLE, Wash. (Glossy News) — A wealthy Seattle man, Benjamin Dover, recently decided it was time to remarry. Having divorced his wife of five years after a rather steamy sex scandal that rocked downtown Seattle, Dover sought to put the mistakes of his past aside and find companionship with a quality woman. So, as many lovelorn men today, he invested his time and money in a cyber dating service.

According to Dover, the interview process progressed fairly well, allowing him to narrow his choices to three women he had been courting online for the past several months. Read the full story

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France Protects Muslim Women’s Rights by Denying them Choice


The French National Assembly has voted overwhelmingly to ban burqas, with 335 in favor of the law and only one against it. This decision is in line with the international consensus that instead of what they do, what they say, or what they believe, women should be judged for how they look.

If the Senate and Constitutional Council approve the ban, it will go into effect in the fall. Read the full story

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Posted in Religionism, World NewsComments (1)

Man Living with Parents Mauled to Death by Cougar


OTTAWA, ON – After winning a lengthy legal battle for the right to keep exotic cougars on his property in rural Ontario, Buford Starwarrior was mauled to death by a 125-pound animal.

Starwarrior, a 26-year-old shut-in and aspiring comic book artist who lived in his parent’s basement, legally changed his last name from Johnston last year. Read the full story

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Posted in Human InterestComments (0)

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