A reporter covering the debacle that is the debt ceiling talks has just published a story in his local hometown paper, The Times-Picayune, which helps shed light on what he believes is the number one priority coming out of the Republican camp—the importance of a good lunch. Read the full story

I have got to stop eating out at these back alley streets here in China. It’s summer; and it’s hot: and all the foods here in China are rotten!

Did you know that Chinese people eat dogs too? Yeah, they put them in a stew. And it’s delicious!
They eat cats too. But there is just not enough meat on the cats.

Dog meats are mostly lean, as compared to pork. Read the full story

The relief guard approached the other guard as he was on his watch. As usual Cecil’s mind was fixed on some inner scene; his eyes half closed and blank, his face dumb and peaceful like a cow in a field of abundant clover. It struck a chord of anger in Myron to see him this way and there arose in him the desire to smash him in the chest with the butt of his gun. Read the full story

The Chinese ports of Shanghai and Shenzhen are preparing to unload dozens of giant freighters. The ships are filled to the brim with cash made from selling Americans millions of tons of cheap junk over the Christmas holidays.

Fueled by the flashing bright colors, scantily clad models and pictures of wide-eyed children inherent in American advertising, Americans went all out by scraping cash, debit and credit cards from the bottom of their threadbare pockets in an annual ritual that on the surface looks like it was designed only to preserve China’s economic influence in the world. Read the full story

The Western world was excited this week at news the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to imprisoned Chinese democracy advocate Xi Liang Jing.

Media watchers are in consensus on the surprising development. If not for the unfortunately timed announcement of Prince William’s engagement, Mr. Jing would’ve maybe made the evening news. Read the full story

DAYTON, Ohio (Glossy News) –The Chinese, often characterized as “the yellow race,” have found a new friend in a man whose face color reminds them of their grandfathers when angered — orange. There is an old saying in China that goes something like “when my yellow grandfather gets a red face, he is an orange ogre.”

Businessmen from all over China have begun telling this ancient tale again after meeting and speaking with John Boehner, who, for all intents and purposes, has become the number one link between China and the United States Chamber of Commerce. Read the full story

IMPORTANT – IF YOU ARE NOT A CARD CARRYING MEMBER OF “CONFEDERATION OF SOCIALISTS INTENT ON BRINGING DOWN THE CAPITALIST DRAGON AMERICA”, THEN DO NOT READ THIS…

Comrades!
The situation is dire!
Our plans lay fast in rubble before us!

Our goal to subjugate the great capitalistic tyrant the United States and lead them to the glories of socialism has run aground. The attempt to sneak Marx-Engels philosophies into the pattern of American politics has been uncovered again and again by the ever intrepid FOX News and their highly elite and patriotic staff. Read the full story

Lhasa, Tibet – Glossy News – The Dalai Lama has spoken up and taken credit for the recent earthquake that hit China. Citing recent ‘bad karma’ over the suppression of Tibet’s population, the Dalai Lama said he would pray for the victims, but hates the Chinese leadership for years of brutal suppression. He took credit and responsibility for the ‘Great Jump’ that sparked the earthquake. Read the full story

Bouffant Falls, AR (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with norbert b. snortwhistle. (Glossy News) – Presumed 2012 GOP presidential primary entrant Sarah Palin declared war on China today, though she admitted she wasn’t certain “it can be allowed” from an undeclared political candidate.

“I can see Russia from my front window,” Palin shouted to a cheering Tea Party crowd, many of them wearing surplus army helmets and waving chopsticks. “I sure don’t want China up my chimney, and neither do the American people!” Read the full story

BEIJING, China (GlossyNews) — Although the Chinese government has allowed consumers in Mainland China to own earlier versions of the iPhone, they are now cracking down saying that the iPhone 4 is too advanced and could bring more harm than good to the government and its citizens.

While Apple’s international sales force has been quick to point out that the iPhone 4 is far less superior than the ads let on, their reverse sales pitch is going nowhere. Read the full story

At Sea, South Pacific (GlossyNews) — Rumors are swirling in back alleys and executive washrooms about the handful of tapes that, if made public, could blow the lid off Rupert Murdoch’s hold on American politics, bringing Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, and others down with him in the fallout. Read the full story

Paris (GlossyNews) — French official are scrambling this afternoon in an apparent effort to appease their  enraged Chinese counterparts.

The dispute began with reports of an ill-advised boast made by General Pierre Petit on the French Riviera Monday afternoon, where military leaders were meeting to discuss national defense over wine and cheese. General Petit emphatically declared the following: Read the full story

In a newly released book by Chinese-American Author, Pe Yuan Yu-Smith, titled “You Buy More Yankee, OK?” Americans are finally being made privy to some of the lesser known facts about the tenuous economic relationship between China and the United States.

Although his title is considered a lighthearted attempt to poke fun at some of the things the Chinese have been known to think and say about American consumers, in fact, the book discusses a darker side of how China, over the past several decades, has become the leader in Read the full story

Paris, TX — Canada, once one of America’s staunchest allies in North America and a bulwark against growing aboriginal unrest and encroachment of the Scandinavian powers, continues to befuddle the West.

In the 1950s, 60s, and 70s Canada, with the backing of the US and England, grew to prominence in North America. Canada became a ‘strongman’ and a policeman that the West could rely on in a sea of continuous turmoil in a region troubled by the growing influence of capitalism and rock and roll. Read the full story

From Chairman Mao’s era of Agricultural focused economy to Deng Xiaoping’s Opening up and Reform policies, inviting in foreign investments to build mainly a Light Industry focused economy in China, China has transformed a great deal in the last 3 decades to a relatively rich country.

But in the 21st Century, a new chapter in China’s History and Future where Light Industry is no longer sufficient for China’s blazing ambition and capacity, dynamo and optimism, Read the full story

A huge influx of cheap-good laden ships from Mainland China caused Homeland Security to raise its insecurity level to the orange level today. Normally, goods coming in from China raise no terrorist alerts, but due to the present economic crisis the agency has become aware that the importing of cut-rate merchandise from the former Communist land helps to destroy the American manufacturing base. This also takes jobs away from Americans, but since they have government jobs they know they don’t need to care. Read the full story