Posted on 08 August 2011. Tags: canada, Fargo, North Dakota, oaths of office, oil shale, Tsetse flies.
A recent disturbing discovery by a North Dakotan historian has revealed a disturbing fact about one of the least popular states in the union- the fact that it is not a state.
John Rolczynski has discovered that the governor and the state deputies at the time of it’s founding never took the oaths of office necessary to give North Dakota statehood. Read the full story
Posted in World News
Posted on 11 August 2010. Tags: birthers, canada, Elena Kagan, manhattan, Mike Myers, Supreme Court, tea party, Texas
ODESSA, Texas Commonwealth (GlossyNews) — While it was initially believed Elena Kagan’s Supreme Court nomination would move ahead with only token opposition, such hopes are fading as Congress begins the summer recess.
Backed by the Tea Party affiliated Citizens for Legal Official Documents, Senator Denton R. Fender (R-TX) announced today he will filibuster the Kagan nomination. At issue are recent rumors that Ms. Kagan wasn’t born in New York, as some documents claim. It appears she may have been born in Kenya. Read the full story
Posted in Politics, Strange People
Posted on 18 July 2010. Tags: canada, Canada Dry, Chicago, over stretched libido, White Sox, Wrigley Field, Wrigley gum
CHICAGOLAND, Illinois
(GlossyNews) –
The horror! The horror!
This is a quote from Heart Of Darkness by Joseph Conrad, the short story that inspired the movie Apocalypse Now. It is also a quote on the tongues of many Chicagoans when they found that their Life Saver mints, a product staple of the eternal Wrigley Company, a bastion of Chicoagoan enterprise, is now being made in Canada.
The horror! The horror! Read the full story
Posted in Biz News, Travel
Posted on 31 January 2010. Tags: 2010 Winter Olympics, canada, Officially Sponsored Olympic Products, Olympic Commitee, Peruvian Bobsled Team, toboggan, Vancouver
This scene was captured by one of our authors last week, but we can’t publish it under her name because she was subsequently disqualified for using performance enhancing substances. We will still publish it, but we can’t give her credit, and our thanks to Roger Freed for picking up the torch where she passed out, even if he didn’t edit the text for length, readability or any sort of journalistic integrity. Read the full story
Posted in Events
Posted on 24 January 2010. Tags: auto industry, canada, Chicago, Detroit, economy, Michigan, Motor City, unemployment
What is left of the city of Detroit was dismantled and shipped to Illinois this week. The Motor City, long beset by declines in the automotive industry and general economy, has given up the ghost as a separate city entity and will be rebuilt as a new suburb of Chicago called ‘Floyd’. The once proud Midwestern City that saw its heyday as the center of American automotive might has long languished from the onslaught of foreign cars that are smaller, more compact and reasonably priced, much like the foreigners themselves.
The whole endeavor is a slap in the face to the remaining Detroitonians. Read the full story
Posted in Biz News
Posted on 23 December 2009. Tags: afghanistan, canada, china, diplomacy, hegemony, iran, iraq, western influence
Paris, TX — Canada, once one of America’s staunchest allies in North America and a bulwark against growing aboriginal unrest and encroachment of the Scandinavian powers, continues to befuddle the West.
In the 1950s, 60s, and 70s Canada, with the backing of the US and England, grew to prominence in North America. Canada became a ‘strongman’ and a policeman that the West could rely on in a sea of continuous turmoil in a region troubled by the growing influence of capitalism and rock and roll. Read the full story
Posted in World News
Posted on 24 August 2008. Tags: canada, frigid, hockey, nhl, tundra, ugly women, wnhl
Perhaps you’ve heard of Canada, it’s the nation inconveniently separating the contiguous United States from the industrious state of Alaska. Despite their reputation as a nation “not having a reputation,” marketing executives have come up with a product that will finally put Canada on the map, which currently, at least on maps printed in the United States, it is not. Read the full story
Posted in Events
Recent Comments