BREAKING NEWS: Canada Announces Plans to Build Southern Border Wall

Ottawa – Today, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau delivered a landmark speech to the combined chambers of the Canadian Parliament. He announced his plans to erect a 50-foot-tall wall along the entire length of the USA-Canadian border to keep them safe from the hordes of Americans fleeing the USA. Countless numbers are seeking asylum in Canada, widely considered the last remaining enclave of sanity north of Mexico.

Canadians were initially enraged when the Prime Minister’s address cut into an intermission of the Maple Leafs – Oilers game. Mr. Trudeau began his ten-minute speech in the traditional Canadian manner, by apologizing for interrupting TV coverage of the Zamboni re-surfacing the ice rink. Read more BREAKING NEWS: Canada Announces Plans to Build Southern Border Wall

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Dutch Engineers Hope to Reclaim 30% of Lake Superior for Land Development

Dutch engineering company Bleegmaart unt Flargbleers LLC have raised $300 billion already in ther hopes to reclaim “the better bulk” of Lake Ontario, for mixed use apartments, retail and light industrial purposes… Read more Dutch Engineers Hope to Reclaim 30% of Lake Superior for Land Development

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Canadians Urge Ukrainians to seek Peace Through Dullness!

Backed by a majority of Canadians, the Canadian government has passed a resolution urging Ukrainians to stop fighting and to handle their internal conflict by being more boring like the Canadians.

Ukraine is split between ethnic Russians in the eastern part of the country and pro-European, ethnic-Ukrainians in the west. Likewise, Canada is split between Catholic, French-speaking Quebecers, left-wingers in Ontario and British Columbia, and conservatives in the prairies. Read more Canadians Urge Ukrainians to seek Peace Through Dullness!

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